|
|
center>
| This film is an unrelenting examination of the price our culture has paid for moral relativism, particularly in relation to sex. |
YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
(1998)
|
|
I asked Ms. Welborn to do some reviews for Hollywood Jesus. She is a very insightful writer and speaker who is in touch with contemporary issues. I am very pleased with her contribution. She has a web site called Spirit Life.
-David Bruce |
Cary: Jason Patric,
Man: Ben Stiller,
His partner: Catherine Keener,
Man: Aaron Eckhart,
His wife: Amy Brenneman,
Artist's rep: Nastassja Kinski.
Written and directed by Neil LaBute.
Running time: 100 minutes.
Classified R (for explicit dialogue) after an initial NC 17. |
"Are you, like, a good person?"
"Hey! I'm eating lunch!"
"What did you like the best (about our sex)?"
"I liked the silence best.''
|
|
Your Friends and Neighbors is the second offering by writer/director Neil LaBute, who last year gave us the very bleak film In the Company of Men. Le Bute's latest possesses a similar nihilistic sensibility, and is not for the faint of heart or those uncomfortable with sexual frankness in their movies (frankness of words, not deed, interestingly enough) It's also not a "feel-good-date-movie." What it is: an unrelenting examination of the price our culture has paid for moral relativism, particularly in relation to sex. The plot centers on two couples and two other individuals - a man and a woman- all of whom remain nameless throughout the film, undoubtedly to underscore LaBute's vision of the depersonalized, anonymous world of contemporary relationships. None of these six characters are happy in their sex lives, a fact that is clearly symbolic of a deeper unhappiness. Their misery is traceable to two factors: their selfishness and their failure to communicate. For these characters, sex has become a function similar to consuming a meal: devoid of meaning and to be judged on the "quality" of the experience, rather than an expression of a sacred bond or even simple love and the commitment
that entails. There are a lot of movies out there these days with a nihilistic sensibility, but the difference between most of them and Your Friends and Neighbors is that those other movies embrace that nihilism - nothing has any meaning- unquestioningly and even celebrate it. LaBute doesn't do that - it's clear to me he has an attitude about the contemporary moral scene, and it's not positive. These characters are committed to nothing greater than their own pleasure, are unwilling to sacrifice, are childless, and are unable to communicate - meaning, underneath, they have nothing they want to say because communicating is essentially about sharing, and they're unwilling to do that. And you know what? He's right. Over the past few decades, sex, given to us by God as a gift, has been desacralized and demeaned. It's something we need to talk about - and as unpleasant as it may be, the first step to talking about it is seeing the situation as it is, in all its sadness and emptiness, which Neil LaBute and his fine cast does in Your Friends and Neighbors
Amy has an interesting home page, The Spirited Life. She is a religious and political writer. http://hometown.aol.com/spritlife/index.htm
You can e-mail her at Spritlife@aol.com
|
| Roger Ebert says, "The underlying truth is that no one cares for or about anybody else very much, and all of the fooling around is just an exercise in selfishness... It's the kind of date movie that makes you want to go home alone. |
|
|
|
ARE THINGS CHANGING?
RELATED NEWS
FEWER TEENS HAVING SEX.
Sept. 18,1998. Fewer teen-agers are having sex in the 1990s, a study found. The number of teens having sex has declined for the first time since the 1970s, the Centers for Disease Control found. "For the first time in a decade, less than half of the nation's high school students have engaged in sexual intercourse," said Lloyd Kolbe of the CDC. The study shows that the number of teens having sex declined 11% from 1991 to 1997. About 48% of high school students were sexually active in 1997, down from 54.1% in 1991. About 50,000 students participated in national, state, and local surveys, the Washington Times said.
...The rates dropped more among boys than girls. About 9% fewer boys are having sex compared with 3% fewer girls. The study's results coincide with drops in teen pregnancy and venereal disease. Sex education and increased participation by churches, civic groups, and parents in teens' lives are responsible for the drop, Kolbe said.
MOST TEENS CHOOSE ABSTINENCE.
Oct. 12, 1998. Christians are organizing more sexual-purity campaigns for teens. Young people will display pledge cards for True Love Waits, a sexual abstinence campaign, on bridges around the country Feb. 12. A sign will be displayed on both sides of each bridge. One will say "1999" and the other "2000," symbolizing the span from one millennium to the next with the commitment to moral purity, columnist Mike McManus said. The campaign challenges teens to remain sexually pure until marriage.
...Most teen-agers choose abstinence. For the first time in 20 years, a majority of American teen-agers are sexually abstinent, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said. The prevalence of sexual experience decreased 11% between 1991 and 1997, the CDC said. The percentage of sexually active male students fell to 48.8% from 57.4%. Teen girls experiencing intercourse dropped from 50.8% in 1991, to 47.7%. The percentage of sexually active females age 15-19 had increased from 29% in 1970 to 57% in 1988.
...The "remarkable transformation of ethics" can be credited to True Love Waits, a campaign begun by Southern Baptists and used by other denominations, McManus said. The pledge states: "Believing that TRUE LOVE WAITS, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, those I date, my future mate and my future children to be sexually pure until the day I enter a covenant marriage relationship." Any church can begin its own True Love Waits campaign. For information, call 800-588-9248.
News from ReligionToday.com is Copyrighted by Media Management. Content may be reproduced provided proper credit is given to www.ReligionToday.com. |
|
VISITOR RESPONSE
ABOUT LOVE
From Colin: David, I hope your well and thought (as I believe you and I are like minded) you would like to hear the following. I believe my faith has moved on again to the next chapter. I have got to say again, that your web page is an excellent way of attracting secular and blinded people. Although at the same time I must say I feel the Church can sometimes close eyes to the "Good News". The films and those that show the Love of God, will help to wake them up to see more of the truth of what God wants for us. Only this week do I feel I am truly beginning to understand the meaning of "life in abundance ‘. Before many Christians would know that I am young in the faith and direct me with a very ";black & white" approach. Even to the point were I began to adopt it: "Its the truth, I can see it! There are the facts, you can't deny it" I would say. However, I found that my spirit felt uneasy and NOT full of life about this. Many could not relate to this, and I infact found this approach cold and inappropriateat many times. The Word is "alive" and means different things to different people and situations, it fits all of them perfectly, but only when delivered with the fluidity of Love it cannot be rigid. Many Christians do not know this. There is no stereo type for goodness. Even some Christians have become legalistic.
I read this week one specific passage which has set me free from all the opinions, rigidity and inappropriate appliance of the Word. 1 Corinthians 13.
God is Love. Love (all though many do not see it this simply, as they have been blinded by the World, Satan and life's pre-occupations) is everyone's God. We all look to Love (which is the spirit and nature of God), pursue it, feel dead without it, but still abuse it. All of my family and friends lives are ultimately ruled by Love and whether they have it or not. Every song sings of Love. Every film and book has some theme of Love. It is our ruler, it is alive, it is the nature of God. In its perfect form it fills us with
"life" and joy and peace. When it is gone or perverted or neglected it leaves our spirits "dead". We have offended God, taken him and his most precious gift of Love for granted, and spiritually we are dead. Only Jesus can pay the outstanding debt.. By his blood, praise Christ our Lord, can we be reconciled to God and Love and Life in abundance. Selfish Love is worthless and finite. Jesus in a perfect act of Love, poured himself out completely for the other. He must have been so desperate, sad and lonely when we just did not see his true Love for us. He came to be servant and give Love completely to the point of dying at the hands of those he came to save. Love really begins when you really get nothing back, if we all did this there would be no hurt, no loneliness, no divorce, no abortion.....
In fact this passage is my understanding of the very nature of God. Jesus was not stereotypical, legalistic and said that the Word is alive! Many Christians do not see this and try to apply a the Word without kindling it 1st with Love, as Christ did. They do not follow Christ's example who applied everything in the Love of God - His Father. Therefore they scare off the multitudes, because the multitudes see no Love and often see the Church as dead or out of touch. The spirit of Gods perfect Love needs to be shown to the World before they will SEE the TRUTH, that is "written (already) on their hearts and
minds";. The truth is that they all want the TRUE love that Jesus showed us. However, Satan and this World have not allowed them to see it in its purity. He blocks the way and the ";rivers of life" do not flow in them. They are depressed, cannot be healed, cannot Love and die from the inside because they are blinded.
The people need to see that what they want, the ruler of their lives (as they can understand it) is LOVE. They need to know why they don't receive it. They need to know that the feeling they were experiencing when they fell in Love with someone, was given by God. If we (as we do) abuse it, the Love stops flowing and the World fills in the gaps with "worthless rubbish". Only Christ can save us from this and reconcile us to God, but many need to 1st understand 1st from an angle of Love (agape).
Once they see that Love is a gift, they can begin to see that they have to respect it, that it does not just remain without care and respect for IT. Many fail to understand that what they do, or how they behave, in fact every action effects their Love and hence their life. It doesn't belong to them, they look at their partner and blame them for the
problems, or look directly at them to supply a paradise on Earth. They all need to understand that we all face Love (& God) individually, and that we need to respect its perfect nature, righteousness and complete rejection of all sin against it. It will leave them every time they; cheat, lie, boast, covet or become hardened to the "other". People have to realize that the greatest gift of God does NOT belong to them as a possession. The trouble is they find this very unsafe, so they also blind themselves! When they see this and that it renders their lives happy or not, ecstatic or desperate, faithful or fearful, then the concept of God can begin to be introduced. It rules them and everything they do, so it is their God.
They do not realize yet that it is personified, but they can begin to realize that it is "alive". They offend it leaves them. It is perfect and righteous. Love (God) needs to remain pure it cannot stand sin and selfishness, and if sin (an old word that many find out of touch) compromises the Love of God, it cannot just be forgotten because of its righteousness.
Therefore we all need a savior, to be saved by Jesus Christ the Lord. Who came in perfect Love and gave his life in perfect Love, so that we could be reconciled to God in perfect Love. By faith in Jesus Christ who paid the debt that we could not and makes perfect in Love all that was lost by our sin.
Rivers of living water can flow again! And we can all live life in abundance. |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
