I wasn’t asking for much. I just didn’t want this movie to suck. I bore witness to the travesty what was the Roger Corman production of the comic book. Made for a few million dollars, the movie was a quickie release made solely to force the studio to buy back the rights and never let the movie see the light of day (though a few copies ended up in circulation). Do you remember how enjoyable a movie The Incredibles was? It was basically an animated version of the Fantastic Four, with the members being a family. In fact, an early script draft portrayed the members of the Fantastic Four as a family, to the cries of protests from the purists. This Fantastic Four is an ersatz family, putting the ‘F’ in dysfunction.

I have collected the Fantastic Four comic book on an off for years. Though it was the book that essentially launched Marvel Comics, it has languished like a book in the ten cent bin not getting the attention of Spider-Man, the Hulk, or the X-Men. In the right hands, there is potential for a breezy action adventure movie centering around the chemistry of four compatriots. In the wrong hands, it would be a lackluster, uninspired exercise in cinematic mediocrity.

There were changes from the comic book which is to be expected in any translation from one medium to another. Victor Von Doom is a smarmy businessman originally from Latveria but now thoroughly enmeshed in American capitalism. In fact, he and Reed Richards seem to be more business rivals than scientific ones. There are interesting role reversals, as Susan Storm starts off working for Victor and is his love interest while Reed is a bankrupt scientist looking for another chance. Speaking of reversals, Johnny Storm apparently started off as the junior officer trained by Ben Grimm who ends up his commanding officer.

Thin is the word that best describes this movie. The acting is thin. Jessica Alba (fresh from Sin City) demonstrates why her physique is the best part of her acting repertoire as she veers between nag and object to be ogled. Nothing about her character or her portrayal says lead geneticist. Julian McMahon plays a variation of Christian Troy, his character from Nip/Tuck, attempting to chew scenery but not being able to convey anything close to charismatic arch-villain. Michael Chiklis (The Shield) is a marvel as The Thing. Despite being under layers of latex, he brings out Ben Grimm’s humanity. But Chris Evans’ one-note performances of the Human Torch matches Ioan Gruffudd’s one-note performance of Mr. Fantastic. Basically, we’re told about the characters and we’re supposed to accept that and move on.

The dialogue is thin, the spouted lines ending up sounding more corny than anything else. That is, when the dialogue wasn’t tipping its heavy hand trying to foreshadow future (lack of) action. The fun is thin. The movie tries too hard to have a sense of whimsey which then comes across a little forced. The direction of the movie made me long for the intensity of The Incredibles. The Fantastic Four is fairly slow-moving. Well, maybe not slow, but a lot of time seems to be wasted in the audience getting to know the characters, even for an origin film. Plus the movie seems impressed with its CGI budget and wanting the audience to revel in every instance of the movie-makers’ use of effects.

Continue: 1 2