You have to hand it to Adam Ravetch and Sarah Robertson, the directors of Arctic Tale. They have ingeniously marketed their film as a feel-good documentary a la March of the Penguins, seemingly innocuous fun for the whole family. What you get, however, is something entirely different indeed—definitely not so feel-good and, some would say, downright duplicitous. That’s not to say it isn’t an enjoyable film—it has it’s moments. Shot over 15 years, the footage in Ravetch and Robertson’s film captures splendidly the majesty of God’s magnificent creation in all its stunning beauty and wonder.

Arctic Tale weaves the story of two young polar bear cubs: a girl named “Nanu” and her sibling, only referred to as “her brother.” (Interesting slight.) Nearby a walrus cub named “Seela,” her mother, and an ever-present “Aunty” (how we know this is her aunt is never explained) also spend time doing what walruses do: hunting, eating, sleeping and avoiding predators. Some creative editing and the imagination of “writers” Linda Woolverton, Mose Richards and Kristin Gore (yes, Al’s daughter) intertwine the lives of these two species together, not always effectively, to form a dramatic narrative. Only problem is that what we are told is not always what we see. A close-call Walrus attack on Nanu and family is just a jumbled shot of blurs and bubbles; we never actually see the two animals in the same frame. The bears also have a “tag-along” fox friend who supposedly follows them about—again, we see the cute little guy scampering across the icy plains but never in the same shot as the bears.

Queen Latifah does a respectable job with a narration that borders on downright silliness. And what would a film targeted for kids be without a little flatulence humor? Because it is nature after all, there has to be the harsh reality of death—an intense emotional scene. No problem though—just throw in a “We are Family” musical sequence and you’ve got the youngsters hooked and back in your good graces. All the better to start forming their young, impressionable minds on the dangers of eco-destruction and global warming. Arctic Tale is nothing more than An Inconvenient Truth For Kids in polar bear’s clothing (or walrus blubber).

Global warming is hinted at throughout the narrative and if that was the extent of it, then it would have been acceptable. The knock-out punch is when the credits roll and the gloves come off. We are bombarded with the cute little faces of kids from every tribe and tongue teaching us bad adults how we are killing our planet. By the time they are finished, even I felt punched into submission. I was ready to leave my SUV in the parking lot and trek home by foot, my two kids in tow. When I got home I was going to be sure to wash all of my clothes in cold water and replace all my light-bulbs to something more eco-friendly. A polar bear’s life depended on it after all. But, fortunately, I returned to my senses on the way out of the theater as I overheard a woman telling her daughter, “it’s because we are killing our planet honey.”

Don’t misunderstand. I am all in favor of being earth conscious, a responsible steward and caretaker of the earth we have been given. One of the first commands given to Adam was to take care of the creation he had been placed in the midst of (Genesis 2:15). We should not deny our responsibility to respect, protect and cherish the world God has given us. However, there is still debate on both sides of the issue at the extent of the damage we have done or can do. I respect both positions—I just don’t know which side of the fence I fall on. What I don’t need is a trojan horse film like Arctic Tale telling me and my kids that we are responsible for the destruction of the polar ice caps.

Excuse me—I have an SUV to wash and some laundry to do (hot water, of course).