Guru Pitka is Mike Meyers' latest character invention. It's one that supposedly he practiced over and over again in front of small comedy clubs for at least a year. Unfortunately, having watched the whole Love Guru, it seems that the character could've used some more work.

Pitka's Ashram is founded on the EIEIO principle (Ecumenical, Intuitive, Enlightenment, Initiative, Organization) but the whole thrust of the movie is that Pitka desires to surpass his longtime rival, Deepak Chopra, as the number one guru. Pitka once sought enlightenment so that he would be more attractive to women, and his ashram tends toward the self-serving as well.

To achieve first ranking, Pitka's advisors urge him to get on Oprah Winfrey's show. Toronto Maple Leafs' Darren Roanoke, whose wife is sleeping with a rival goalie (Justin Timberlake), needs some counseling and the owner of the TML (Jessica Alba) hires Pitka to reconcile the two lovers so that Roanoke will play better. The chastity belt-wearing Pitka falls hard for Alba's Jane, but the wild man must be tamed before they can come together.

Pitka's humor revolves around sexual innuendo, physical stunts, and various word plays that may or may not make sense to viewers. The spiritual advisor follows such pieces of wisdom as Intimacy or "In to me I see," which is supposed to be funny but really annoyed me because intimacy isn't about me. Unfortunately, there are various "burst into song" moments throughout the movie, too, like Meyers' Indian-accented "The Joker" played badly.

Overall, the whole movie stunk. It just wasn't that funny, and the people who might find it funny, well, apparently they didn't go to see it in the theater either. Pitka's spirituality has a lukewarm combination of a little of this and a little of that which I found to be lacking any value. Isn't it true that if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything? In the end, Pitka doesn't stand for anything at all, and I just couldn't stand Pitka.