Arrrrrighty then. So, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is finally here. Now let’s see if I can follow what’s going on. So that scallywag is betraying that bilge rat who’s double crossing barnacle-for-brains over there who’s actually teamed with the scallywag in order to make sure the double cross of that soding land lubber doesn’t mess up their plans of double crossing the double cross. Aye, I think I’ve got it… but… who exactly am I to be rooting for? I know it’s supposed to be the hero… but there ain’t exactly anyone particularly heroic in this here epic. In fact, they’re all pretty much a pack of lying, thieving, deceiving, self-centered, thoughtless curs. Ah well, perhaps it’s best to treat this film like a bottle rum; just drink it in and try not to think.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End lives up to the requirements of a sequel in every way; there’s more characters, more action, more adventure and more running time. It is truly a summer spectacle film, and one leaves the theater with a feeling not unlike one has after leaving a particularly exciting ride (rather ironic considering the source material for this film). Once the euphoria wears off, however, you start to realize that something was missing: story, and a hero to cheer for. Oh, there was plenty of plotting and twists and double-crosses to be sure, but what was it really all about?

The really sad thing is there were moments where we almost were told a story. We were almost told the story of the love between Davy Jones and the sea goddess Calypso; but that was quickly swept away by the next action sequence. We were almost told a story of pirates making a stand against a world that no longer had a place for them; but that was swept away by the next amazing special effects sequence. And we were very nearly told the story of the love between a young man and the woman of his dreams, and of a son and his father; but it kept getting interrupted by all the noise. There were stories with heart in this film, but they are stories we’re sadly never told. Plus, I just couldn’t get excited or feel inspired by the fact that a bunch of blood thirsty, vicious pirates are fighting for their freedom. I guess I’m just one of those rare people who has a hard time rooting for the bad guys to win against the badder guys.

Still, what we are told and what we’re shown is pretty remarkable. The thrills, the action, the sheer spectacle of PotC:AWE is truly remarkable. It also doesn’t hurt that, despite the convoluted and contrived plot that doesn’t really go anywhere, we once again get delightful performances from all involved. Perhaps the most amazing feat of Pirates is the mere fact that director Gore Verbinski was able to manage this bloated, top-heavy cast and make it seem like they all had something significant to do while at the same time raise the bar for this summer’s blockbusting, special-effects laden action sequences. It would have been easy for it all to slip out of control, but never for a moment do you doubt that the director is clearly in control… perhaps a bit over-indulgent… but still in control.

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