Trust the Man

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Writer Director Bart Freundlich’s ‘Trust the Man’ is a triumph!

At the risk of sounding chauvinistic or sexist, I humbly submit the following observations: ‘Trust the Man’ is a movie that portrays men as sensitive, smart, occasional dopes who laugh at fart jokes, and look like real men. They are not sensitive and feminine but sensitive and masculine. Hormonally charged, ambitiously challenged, semi burned out, and somewhat irresponsible. In short, as a guy, I found Tom and Tobey believable. Tom and Tobey (David Duchovny and Billy Crudup) are realistic men who act like the men I know. Even though there were no explosions, bomb threats or hostage situations these two were masculine guys whom in the end, came to bat and swung for the fence.

The story takes place in a pretentious place. Manhattan couples who participate in the stereotypical world of the self-congratulatory, upper middle class of creative professionals who seem to typify the upwardly charging Mid-Hattanites we are all jealous of. However, despite that, this is a common story. The dialogue is chic and glib. All four main characters are highly talented artists in one discipline or another. Perhaps the only difficulty that I can see is that these affluent lifestyles don’t find many sympathizers in our current culture. But, Freudlich has a point to make. His motif adds some helpful shock value to the lesson. The pretense appears to be on purpose. Setting the story in this milieu makes the story so much more engaging. The point? Great pretense does not immunize you from problems. 'Trust the Man' works because, eventhough I wanted these beautiful people to have some problems. I just didn’t expect them to have such pedestrian problems.

Tobey and longtime girlfriend Elaine (Maggie Gyllenhaal) are having a tough time. She has a great job and a budding career as a novelist. She is also hearing the baby bell and is looking to settle down and start a family. He is a slouch who cannot make a commitment. Under the current circumstances there doesn’t seem to be any motivation to change this male wonderland of free rent, free sex, a cool laptop, and a steady parking spot in Manhattan. Tom and Rebecca (Julienne Moore) are married with children. He is starved for sex. She is oblivious as she is a movie and stage actress who is sexy and has lots of high powered friends to divert her attention from her real life. Both couples’ lives are intertwined as Tom and Tobey are best friends, Elaine and Rebecca are friends because Tobey is Rebecca’s brother.

Despite the dysfunctional nature of these two relationships, we learn that it is better to stay together than to begin another “straight life� with another. You can trust the man more often than is currently believed. Once the woman realizes she is a part of the problem too, it becomes a relationship of trust. If you don’t trust each other, you can still learn to trust each other. Realizing your own selfishness in the process can guarantee real relational progress. Both couples, despite their difficulties, finally conclude that it is easier to restore a broken relationship than to start all over with a new one. Having already made the imperceptibly gradual compromises necessary to have even a dysfunctional relationship both couples sense the Goliath of starting over with new compromises and countless other difficulties.

Bart Freundlich’s writing is fresh and new. I believe this film dissects the relational stereotypes that Amercian culture itself has created and adds some realism to the relationship/Romantic Comedy movie genre at the same time.

Continue:
—Overview
—Trailers, Photos
—About this Film
—Spiritual Connections