Super Nanny

The first thing you learn when becoming a parent is that you aren’t supposed to tell anyone else how to raise their kids. Regardless of how loudly the child in front of you in the grocery line is screaming, “I want candy!!� you’re supposed to keep your mouth shut even if you know a great trick to curing that behavior. One evening, my mother and I were discussing the value of foreign cultures where grandparents and in-laws actually live with the families (or the other way around). She brought up a good point: If people in America want to learn how to raise their kids, they have to buy a book, watch a show like Super Nanny or bring it up in an anonymous chatroom online.

For many families, Super Nanny is a God-send. They don’t have to read a 400 page book on discipline or humbly admit to someone else, “I have no idea how to deal with this!� So, I (probably like most American parents) would like to THANK THE FAMILIES on Super Nanny who willingly place themselves in the scrutiny of the public eye. It’s a terribly frustrating thing to admit you don’t know what to do with your kids. It’s even worse to hear some young British girl say, “You are letting that happen and it’s unacceptable!� It may be true, but it hurts. “Kudos� to the moms and dads on the show who have the courage to face criticism for the ultimate welfare of their children. We’re glad you’re asking the questions we all want to ask but don’t.

Now let me challenge the parents out there to go further in your children’s lives than simply watching television shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil or Super Nanny. It's true that we need a toolbox full of healthy advice since different things seem to work on different children. If you consider Super Nanny to be your Home Depot, then consider these as well…

Your Parents are some of the greatest resources on the market. They have first-hand experience with temperaments like your own. Chances are that your child will behave very similar to the way you behaved as a child, and your parents may know how to tackle those problems. What worked for you will probably work for your kids. It may be harder to ask your own parents, but you may be glad you did!

Close friends are a great resource because it is easier to confess “failure� to a close friend who doesn’t expect you to have all the answers. Choosing a friend whose children are several years older than yours will help prevent complaint sessions between frustrated parents who don’t have any answers to give. Furthermore, the camaraderie between two friends is priceless. Did you see the scene in Desperate Housewives where Lynette crumbles under the stress of parenting and rushes off to the park to be alone? Susan shows up a few minutes later and tells her she’s not alone in the struggle to raise kids. Lynette asks a valid question, “Why didn’t anyone tell me that?�

The trick with consulting friends and family is to ASK. It is unlikely that anyone in your life will volunteer advice, so you’ll have to be open and honest with someone you trust.

Books can be helpful. Books on tape are even better for those busy parents with toddlers or teens. Yes, I said teens. It’s never too late to learn about your children and find ways to connect with them. Even if you think they don’t want to hear from you, chances are they do – especially teenagers. Learn about toddlers. Learn about teenagers. Find out what makes them tick. Millions of books and literature are available out there, so treat it like a job you’re trying to get. Brush up on knowledge of that subject (children) so that you are the best candidate for the job.

Prayer is probably our greatest asset – especially in the moments when we don’t understand what is happening to our children. I generally accept the idea that God knows everything that’s going on in my life, but for the first few years, I didn’t make that application to my kids. Of course! God knows what’s going on in our kids’ lives and He can show us if we ask Him. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at a place where all the traditional tricks aren’t working. Wanting to pull my hair out, I mutter some desperate prayer, “God! What is going on with this child? I don’t understand. She can’t (or won’t) communicate, and I have no idea what to do!� Usually within three minutes, the answer comes to me. God literally helps me to understand and meet my child’s need when it is an absolute enigma to me. If He really knows you and me, he also knows our kids.

In conclusion, I am extremely grateful for the show Super Nanny. Besides offering great ideas, the show is breaking a long-standing taboo against discussing discipline problems. At least three or four people have come up to me and said, “Did you see Super Nanny the other night?� and struck up a conversation about childrearing. Even if all of the answers aren’t all there, the show is generating talk, talk, talk everywhere! It’s really a wonderful thing.


If you haven't read it yet, check out my Message to Mom's of Toddlers

Desperate Housewives

—Overview
—Photos
—About this Series
—Spiritual Connections

I have heard a lot of flack from the Christian community over this show, and most are appalled at its immoral content: primarily the endorsement of multiple extra-marital affairs. But, I have a different viewpoint. Unlike many movies out there, this show follows the affairs to their true end results! It doesn't just show an affair and pretend that everyone lives happily ever after - that some get away with it, that others get caught, that forgiveness is in the air, tra la la la la! It deals with the REAL LIFE consequences of betrayal and the REAL LIFE difficulty of remaining faithful when life around you seems to be crumbling.

First case in point: Upon discovering her husband's betrayal, Bree suffers from fierce anger, desire for revenge, thankfulness and acknowledgement of the good years her husband did give her, and the bitterness that arises from deliberately choosing not to forgive and reconcile. The divorce is expected to be very harsh! What I like about Bree is that she's a three-dimensional character who struggles through the entire process of losing trust in her mate. She is not limited to one thought or overly-simplified character trait. Bree runs the gamut of emotions and feelings associated with betrayal, and responds realistically rather than idealistically.

Second case in point: Lynette and her husband battle the legitimate temptations that face married couples over the years. While people can be happily married for a long time, the appearance of a sweet, young, nanny's nakedness can still cause temptation. Why can't we admit that? And the recent revelation of his dad's infidelity points to a legitimate fear that women have when their husbands travel. What I like about their relationship is that they resolve to DISCUSS and WORK OUT their issues. Rather than denying the tensions that exist in a marriage, the two deal maturely with the issues and make changes that are necessary to keep a marriage alive. The nanny was fired after all. It will be interesting to see how the newest kink in their relationship develops - a secret which has not been openly discussed will soon hit the table. I'm hopeful that the writers will maintain the standard of honesty and integrity in this relationship. After all, that IS what it takes to make a relationship work.

Third Case in Point: Gabrielle's extra-marital relationship with John, the gardener, points out the dangers of dealing with 1. younger, more trusting individuals and 2. using people as playthings. Each person suffers from the fleeting nature of the relationship. The other realistic element is the extreme lengths that Gabrielle must go to in order to cover up their time together. Consider how much time and thought actually goes into hiding an affair - it's all consuming. The episode where Gabrielle had to mow her own grass was testimony to the rediculous feats that must be done to keep an affair hidden. This storyline explores even MORE consequences of affairs.

Overall, I think this series is fantastic - not because it is so morally pure, but because it actually educates people on the consequences of sin. Rather than simply saying "Don't do it because you know it's wrong," this series takes morality a step further. It deals with real feelings, addresses issues of the heart, shows the consequences of actions, and even seeks to resolve many of the legitimate frustrations of being married and being parents. Inevitably, Bible studies, lectures, retreats and conferences that have dealt RESPECTFULLY and HONESTLY with my fears, temptations, and errors have had the greatest impact on my life. They haven't tried to pretend my sins don't exist, but rather helped me acknowledge my humanity and the need for help from God. I guess I would say that's the only thing the series lacks: giving at least one character the outlet of faith. Because, truly, it is through faith and God's help that we can overcome temptation and learn forgiveness.

I don't know what the rest of the season will bring, but I hope it maintains its current standard. It's success seems to lie in connecting with people where they are. I hope it doesn't start "pretending" that life is easier than it really is, or creating "false endings" that don't follow a logical conclusion. At the same time, I realize they have to keep it interesting, so I guess we'll see what happens.

And I hope that the folks out there who do watch the show will see it differently too. Rather than slamming its content, we must open our eyes to its potential. This show is an incredible conversation starter!! Mary Alice's closing remarks always force us to examine our own motives and morals. In a strange way, her statements actually ask us questions - and those questions can open doors of honest conversation with our peers. We all struggle with temptation, fear, bitterness, etc...wouldn't it be nice to have someone trustworthy to talk to about those things? It would certainly open doors to sharing the tools and hope that God has given each one of us.

—Overview
—Photos
—About this Series
—Spiritual Connections