Super Nanny
The first thing you learn when becoming a parent is that you aren’t supposed to tell anyone else how to raise their kids. Regardless of how loudly the child in front of you in the grocery line is screaming, “I want candy!!� you’re supposed to keep your mouth shut even if you know a great trick to curing that behavior. One evening, my mother and I were discussing the value of foreign cultures where grandparents and in-laws actually live with the families (or the other way around). She brought up a good point: If people in America want to learn how to raise their kids, they have to buy a book, watch a show like Super Nanny or bring it up in an anonymous chatroom online.
For many families, Super Nanny is a God-send. They don’t have to read a 400 page book on discipline or humbly admit to someone else, “I have no idea how to deal with this!� So, I (probably like most American parents) would like to THANK THE FAMILIES on Super Nanny who willingly place themselves in the scrutiny of the public eye. It’s a terribly frustrating thing to admit you don’t know what to do with your kids. It’s even worse to hear some young British girl say, “You are letting that happen and it’s unacceptable!� It may be true, but it hurts. “Kudos� to the moms and dads on the show who have the courage to face criticism for the ultimate welfare of their children. We’re glad you’re asking the questions we all want to ask but don’t.
Now let me challenge the parents out there to go further in your children’s lives than simply watching television shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil or Super Nanny. It's true that we need a toolbox full of healthy advice since different things seem to work on different children. If you consider Super Nanny to be your Home Depot, then consider these as well…
Your Parents are some of the greatest resources on the market. They have first-hand experience with temperaments like your own. Chances are that your child will behave very similar to the way you behaved as a child, and your parents may know how to tackle those problems. What worked for you will probably work for your kids. It may be harder to ask your own parents, but you may be glad you did!
Close friends are a great resource because it is easier to confess “failure� to a close friend who doesn’t expect you to have all the answers. Choosing a friend whose children are several years older than yours will help prevent complaint sessions between frustrated parents who don’t have any answers to give. Furthermore, the camaraderie between two friends is priceless. Did you see the scene in Desperate Housewives where Lynette crumbles under the stress of parenting and rushes off to the park to be alone? Susan shows up a few minutes later and tells her she’s not alone in the struggle to raise kids. Lynette asks a valid question, “Why didn’t anyone tell me that?�
The trick with consulting friends and family is to ASK. It is unlikely that anyone in your life will volunteer advice, so you’ll have to be open and honest with someone you trust.
Books can be helpful. Books on tape are even better for those busy parents with toddlers or teens. Yes, I said teens. It’s never too late to learn about your children and find ways to connect with them. Even if you think they don’t want to hear from you, chances are they do – especially teenagers. Learn about toddlers. Learn about teenagers. Find out what makes them tick. Millions of books and literature are available out there, so treat it like a job you’re trying to get. Brush up on knowledge of that subject (children) so that you are the best candidate for the job.
Prayer is probably our greatest asset – especially in the moments when we don’t understand what is happening to our children. I generally accept the idea that God knows everything that’s going on in my life, but for the first few years, I didn’t make that application to my kids. Of course! God knows what’s going on in our kids’ lives and He can show us if we ask Him. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at a place where all the traditional tricks aren’t working. Wanting to pull my hair out, I mutter some desperate prayer, “God! What is going on with this child? I don’t understand. She can’t (or won’t) communicate, and I have no idea what to do!� Usually within three minutes, the answer comes to me. God literally helps me to understand and meet my child’s need when it is an absolute enigma to me. If He really knows you and me, he also knows our kids.
In conclusion, I am extremely grateful for the show Super Nanny. Besides offering great ideas, the show is breaking a long-standing taboo against discussing discipline problems. At least three or four people have come up to me and said, “Did you see Super Nanny the other night?� and struck up a conversation about childrearing. Even if all of the answers aren’t all there, the show is generating talk, talk, talk everywhere! It’s really a wonderful thing.
If you haven't read it yet, check out my Message to Mom's of Toddlers
For many families, Super Nanny is a God-send. They don’t have to read a 400 page book on discipline or humbly admit to someone else, “I have no idea how to deal with this!� So, I (probably like most American parents) would like to THANK THE FAMILIES on Super Nanny who willingly place themselves in the scrutiny of the public eye. It’s a terribly frustrating thing to admit you don’t know what to do with your kids. It’s even worse to hear some young British girl say, “You are letting that happen and it’s unacceptable!� It may be true, but it hurts. “Kudos� to the moms and dads on the show who have the courage to face criticism for the ultimate welfare of their children. We’re glad you’re asking the questions we all want to ask but don’t.
Now let me challenge the parents out there to go further in your children’s lives than simply watching television shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil or Super Nanny. It's true that we need a toolbox full of healthy advice since different things seem to work on different children. If you consider Super Nanny to be your Home Depot, then consider these as well…
Your Parents are some of the greatest resources on the market. They have first-hand experience with temperaments like your own. Chances are that your child will behave very similar to the way you behaved as a child, and your parents may know how to tackle those problems. What worked for you will probably work for your kids. It may be harder to ask your own parents, but you may be glad you did!
Close friends are a great resource because it is easier to confess “failure� to a close friend who doesn’t expect you to have all the answers. Choosing a friend whose children are several years older than yours will help prevent complaint sessions between frustrated parents who don’t have any answers to give. Furthermore, the camaraderie between two friends is priceless. Did you see the scene in Desperate Housewives where Lynette crumbles under the stress of parenting and rushes off to the park to be alone? Susan shows up a few minutes later and tells her she’s not alone in the struggle to raise kids. Lynette asks a valid question, “Why didn’t anyone tell me that?�
The trick with consulting friends and family is to ASK. It is unlikely that anyone in your life will volunteer advice, so you’ll have to be open and honest with someone you trust.
Books can be helpful. Books on tape are even better for those busy parents with toddlers or teens. Yes, I said teens. It’s never too late to learn about your children and find ways to connect with them. Even if you think they don’t want to hear from you, chances are they do – especially teenagers. Learn about toddlers. Learn about teenagers. Find out what makes them tick. Millions of books and literature are available out there, so treat it like a job you’re trying to get. Brush up on knowledge of that subject (children) so that you are the best candidate for the job.
Prayer is probably our greatest asset – especially in the moments when we don’t understand what is happening to our children. I generally accept the idea that God knows everything that’s going on in my life, but for the first few years, I didn’t make that application to my kids. Of course! God knows what’s going on in our kids’ lives and He can show us if we ask Him. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at a place where all the traditional tricks aren’t working. Wanting to pull my hair out, I mutter some desperate prayer, “God! What is going on with this child? I don’t understand. She can’t (or won’t) communicate, and I have no idea what to do!� Usually within three minutes, the answer comes to me. God literally helps me to understand and meet my child’s need when it is an absolute enigma to me. If He really knows you and me, he also knows our kids.
In conclusion, I am extremely grateful for the show Super Nanny. Besides offering great ideas, the show is breaking a long-standing taboo against discussing discipline problems. At least three or four people have come up to me and said, “Did you see Super Nanny the other night?� and struck up a conversation about childrearing. Even if all of the answers aren’t all there, the show is generating talk, talk, talk everywhere! It’s really a wonderful thing.
If you haven't read it yet, check out my Message to Mom's of Toddlers
8 Comments:
The supper Nanny
my new favorite TV show i have only watched three episodes but i think jo frost is bloody brilliant her methods seem strict but you can't deny the results.
I am a new father and i beleive if i use her methods from the begining then maybee i will not have to go through what some of the perents on TV have been through.
I think we can all learn from jo's methods of child discipline.
"GOOD WORK JO"
How can I a every day watcher get the web site for Supper Nanny
Here is the link to the official ABC website. http://abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny/index.html
Hope that helps!
Sorry...I'm not sure why it keeps calling me Tom Price, but I just changed my settings. Maybe that will fix it.
I'm in dire straits my three year old son will not sleep in his bed. night after night hie will crawl back in bed with me. I need help. Desperatly seeking sleep alone.
if you could send answer to nancbudw@cs.com Thank you Ms. Wilkinson
It is so easy to say, ask your parents, many people don't have parents to ask. You write as if all that watch and benefit from the advice have the background that you do, on the contrary, most probably dont.
Yes, well, that is the disadvantage of writing from your own perspective. I don't mean to offend anyone, and I realize that everyone has a completely different background - some have great parents, some have horrible parents, some have parents they don't or can't talk to anymore, some have grandparents that raised them, and some have raised themselves since they were able to walk and eat. Thanks for pointng that out.
I guess I should rephrase my statement to say, "Ask those who were involved in your upbringing." It is rare that a person grows up with absolutely no positive influence in their lives (relative, friend, or community worker), although I suppose it does happen to some. Most people can think back and find some soul in their lives who cared, who showed up (even if on a random basis), and who might have some insight into their personalities. Find that person. Ask that person. Even if they are not parents, they could become a powerful force for good in your life. It's worth a shot anyway. Thanks for pointing that out.
I watched the two episodes this evening, back to back 1/1/07. The first involved a divorced woman, and the second a family had both husband and wife still together.
The reason this show "hit home" and I did not turn it off immediately, is because my own daughter's children, three very young boys are "almost" as bad as the ones on the show. They are not to the hitting "hard" stage yet, but that is coming.
What amazes me most about this program is the parent or parents complete lack of courage to discipline their own children. I fully understand my fix is not 100%, but for the majority of children that appear on your program, a good SPANKING is NEVER an option. Children NEED TO BE SPANKED, calmly, with love and resolve to BREAK the rebellious attitude. To see these weak, punk parents is disgusting and beyond belief. I think of my daughter yelling and getting loud and repeatedly saying, "if you do that again, I'm going to spank you" with nothing but threats, which is worthless.
I go back in time and remember my three children, two daughters and a son. I never had to worry about my children going to someones home, yelling, screaming, running around, touching everything, much less screaming at me or hitting me. I rarely lost my temper with my children, 98% of the time I would tell them clearly what was expected, allow some latitude, and then if they did not respond, I calmly bent them over something, and carefully gave them 3-5 swats on the backside with a paddle, ranging from a ping pong paddle to larger paddles as they got older. I never had any problems whatsoever with any of my three children.
If todays parents only realized, their childern are begging for discipline, and I'm not talking about some weak, sissy parent discussion with a child, time out, or any of this worthless mess that SuperNanny is all about. As my own daughter has fallen into the Dr. Phil, and SuperNanny mentality of time out, and having these stupid long philosophical discussion with her children, this is about as much as this dad could take!
I'm especially speaking to the dads, WAKE UP, have some backbone, spank your children for bad behavior, and do it right, where their will is broken, and they become submissive to the constructive discipline. If you are weak with your discipline, you will only make your childer MORE angy, and made the situation worse. Do it right the first time and you will have well behaved children, it's that simple!! If I see another parent talk about taking away TV or a basketball, or privileges as a means of discipline, I'm going to get sick!!
LiteJazz
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