Saturday, August 20, 2005

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

—Overview
—Photos
—About this Film
—Spiritual Connections

Click to enlarge I’m not sure what’s happening this summer with
Wedding Crashers and this movie—both unapologetically R-rated in a world of endless PG-13s, both unabashedly un-PC, both hilarious yet oftentimes awkward to watch with a theater full of strangers, yet both with “hearts of gold� when it comes down to it. I’m not sure what’s happening, but I like it.

[Careful! Don’t step in the Spoilers!]

Like Wedding Crashers, the premise of The 40 Year-Old Virgin is right in the title. Steve Carell plays Andy, the titular virgin, who is an action-figure collecting, video game playing, figurine painting, bicycle riding, retro 70s nice guy. He works at a thinly veiled parody of Circuit City, along with the other three of the film’s four main male characters—one a fairly stereotypical black character, one a fairly stereotypical pot-smoking character (well, they all smoke pot), and one who’s fairly stereotypically torn-up over losing his girlfriend, so he’s jaded about women, blah, blah.


When Andy’s co-workers find out that he is, uh, intercourse impaired, they set about to “get him some.� And there you go. That’s the movie. Of course, along the way to getting him some, there’s gobs of funny stuff—a hilarious chest hair waxing scene that invokes Carell’s Tourette’s-inspired outbursts from
Bruce Almighty, drunk girls, speed dating, an aggressive boss, a box o’ porn, a great musical bit at the end. And, of course, along the way it starts to become apparent that getting Andy some isn’t that simple, especially when he goes and meets Trish (Catherine Keener)—a woman he starts to fall for.

01.jpg (296 K) Though his new friends warn him that he should hook up with a few “hood rats� first, rather than let his first time be with someone he actually likes, Andy doesn’t listen. But his to-be-first encounter with Trish is foiled by her teenaged daughter walking in. Then Andy and Trish decide to put sex off for twenty dates. Twenty dates and a legitimate relationship later, the encounter doesn’t happen again. Andy hasn’t told her about his being a virgin yet, Trish thinks he’s keeping some darker secret, he runs from her, she from him, cue big romantic comedy ending, cue wedding, cue Andy finally “getting some� at the very end. Yes, that’s right: Andy doesn’t lose his virginity until his wedding night. That’s how the movie ends—well, with that and a song from Hair.

03.jpg (60 K) And it is this ending, along with all the thematic material leading up to it, that gives this movie the “heart of gold� I mentioned. In the end, this is not a movie about “getting some.� It’s really a movie about how being a virgin, ultimately, uncomplicates things. Andy’s friends live lives, ultimately, complicated by women, relationships, and sex. Andy’s Pee Wee Hermanesque lifestyle, by comparison, seems better—and he ends up with true love and a wife anyhow. In fact, it is the nerdy portrayal of Andy that is the only negative thing this movie has to say about virginity. 40 Year-Old Virgin does, after all, tell a story about a man who waits for marriage to have sex, although that man is presented as not having had sex because of his nerdiness. But you know, by the end, I even think that portrayal softens—Andy’s not nerdy, just unique, principled maybe, maybe even quirkily cool, definitely himself.

This positive message, along with the laughs, is enough to recommend this movie alone. But there’s more: this movie has to be recommended for how deliberately un-PC it is. There’s some race/gender/sexuality humor here that most movies won’t even mess with anymore—the kind of stuff you might see in late 70s and early 80s cinema—and I for one enjoy the move. Seriously, though sophistication in this area is important, people should know when stereotypes are being stereotypes just for fun, and this is exactly the kind of movie to teach sensitive people to not be so sensitive.

02.jpg (389 K) I also enjoy the melding of genres that this movie, along with Wedding Crashers and others, represents. I like pure comedy. I like romantic comedy. Go ahead, put ‘em together—I like that too. Yes, this movie pretty strictly adheres to the conventions of both genres, but that’s alright when it’s done well. 40 Year Old Virgin gains its uniqueness in other ways: the positive message smuggled in among f-bombs and breasts, the pro-abstinence angle (name another movie that even comes close to it), the fact that, though the characters and plot here seem pretty cardboard-cutout, as mentioned before, there’s also just enough depth to make you feel like these people are living lives and doing things beyond what’s seen on the screen.

On the briefly negative side, this movie does at times feel like Carell and Apatow, who co-wrote the script, used it as a dumping ground for random things they thought were funny. This gives the film a vaguely self-indulgent feel, and makes it a bit too long. And, though the underlying message is very positive, spiritually speaking, the movie itself is also just as bawdy and raunchy as you’d expect. So if that bothers you—if you can’t see past the penis jokes to the light at the end of the tunnel—maybe don’t see it.

I for one hope this trend in cinema continues. I hope to see more R-rated comedies with positive messages, and maybe less PG-13 comedies with negative, ambiguous, irrelevant, or absent messages. Summer ‘O5: the summer of dirty little movies, with minds leaning towards the clean. Works for me.

—Overview
—Photos
—About this Film
—Spiritual Connections

19 Comments:

Anonymous said...

G. K. Chesterton said that he believed that every man that visited a brothel was really looking for Jesus. It is broken logic to conclude that he meant that it is wise then to encourage men to visit brothels because Jesus is really to be found there...

I think there is something seriously wrong with any endorsement of such a dishonest film - there is a moral confusion here that is not helpful to [young] people at all.

I find it disingenuous to talk about "spiritual values" without clearly defining the standard.

I highly doubt the Lord Jesus Christ would advise His disciples to indulge in such a film. There are better choices to make.

4:12 PM  
Darius the Depa said...

I can dig the idea of being a 40-ish Born-Again Virgin. My sexual career path was not one I really liked all that much. When I had myself a 40th Birthday party - even months before it - I asked myself if I wanted the next 20 years of mylife to be like the last 20 years; the answer from me and the Holy Spirit was a resounding "NO!"

I hope these movies come quickly to our local cheap seats PentaPlex;
I quashed $16 seeing "The ISLAND"
two nights in a row. Being a major Philip K. Dick-Head, I could clearly see the influence of his first novel "The Solar Lottery" and his classic Red-Scare down in the bombshelter paranomial novel
"The Penultimate Truth" on the basic premise of the screenplay.
That and seeing Scarlet Johanssen again after "Lost in Translation,"
the ever-entertaining New Obi-Wan
Ewan Mac G. and of course that most delightful Tellaxian Neelix as
Ethan Philips played a small but crucial role as he did in "Star Trek: First Contact." Plus Buster.

Keep Watching the Flicks
& Studying the Pics

WE'VE GOT TO FACE THE FACE
WE GOT A RACE TO RACE
FACE the FACE
ACE is the FACE
SPACE is the PLACE
Rock 4 Ever for Jesus Our Saviour.

5:07 PM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Anonymous: Yeah, I can dig where you're coming from--there's always a fine line to walk when it comes to reviewing this type of movie, and sometimes things come out sounding too one-side-of-the-line-ish. Perhaps that was the case with this review. Actually, your comment reminds me of a comment someone made about my *Wedding Crashers* review. That person said I should've mentioned the nudity in that movie. And yeah, maybe I should have, but like I told that person, the problem is being able to write a review, concisely, interestingly, and hit every possible angle. Not really possible to do, and in my opinion, also not the purpose of HJ.com.

You're right, we perhaps shouldn't say "if you're looking for Jesus, go see this movie," but I'm mainly saying that positive thematic material *can be found* in this movie and others like it. I'd pretty much agree with Chesterton's implicit idea that *everything* can be read spiritually. And while that's what this site is all about, it just can't be done in an all-encompassing kind of way. For example, I can't "clearly define the standard" when it comes to "spiritual values" before I talk about spiritual values, or this would cease being HJ.com--it'd become something else, and there are other resources for that. And I also don't necessarily see it as my role to clear up the admittedly confused (though not all negative, and that was the point) morality of this movie for young people. Again, there are resources for that. And the movie's rated R, so . . .

Would Jesus want us to "indulge" in such a film? If by "indulge" you mean accept fully, uncritically, and enjoy completely for the basest of reasons, then no, of course he wouldn't. But would Jesus want us, as part of this culture, to critically "examine all things, keep the good, throw out the bad" (to paraphrase Paul), then yes, I think he would. This movie was number one at the box office over the weekend. That's something to consider as Christians, not ignore. My review was just one attempt at giving a Christian perspective on that phenomenon, albeit a necessarily incomplete one, due to the role of this site.

But again, I see where you're coming from. Honest dialogue about how we, as Christians, be "in the world but not of it" is definitely called for by this movie. This movie definitely should make us think of verses that say not to focus on "unclean things," etc. But I don't see the reviews as necessarily the forum for doing that . . . perhaps just the forum for starting that . . .

7:05 PM  
Anonymous said...

To the last reviewer asking questions of "what would Jesus do?" and "I think Jesus would want this," what are you talking about?

Forgive my pointed observation but I hate this line of reasoning among Christians. The question "what would Jesus do?" smacks of someone who doesn't really believe Jesus is here to tell you Himself or that you can't possibly know what He would do and so you have to "think" and "guess" what He "might" do yourself. What are you left with? You're left with NO JESUS AT ALL! You are left with your own imaginations. This is the talk of dead religion; of those who act as though they serve a lifeless, silent, and distant God.

I'm sure you meant well and I'm sorry to speak so harshly, but you ought to re-think some things. I'm not going to review a movie because YOU think Jesus MIGHT do or think this or that. I happen to fully believe HE IS ALIVE and able to think and do for HIMSELF and I believe He will lead and guide by His Spirit. WWJD? What a load of crap!

Every one of us has a God-given conscience. I cannot impose mine on anyone. So seek the Lord and obey Him. If your conscience does not offend you then be true to your conscience. Just don't press your freedom on anyone else or vise versa.

If we will get our preconceived notions of religion out of our heads long enough to actually listen to the Holy Spirit we might actually learn something... and I don't doubt it's possible even through a movie like this one (though my own conscience prohibits me from seeing it). God bless.

9:21 PM  
Ed Travis said...

Matt-

This is a challenging film to review, and I applaud you for even trying. I also applaud your response to the poster who questioned your "indulgence" in this film.

It just seems there is so much brokenness in this world, that to find a film which ultimately celebrates this guy who waits until marriage to have sex IS a remarkably fresh breath of air.

Anyway, all well thought out and very loyal to the purpose of HJ, and hopefully to the purpose of Christ through this site.

Out.

7:57 AM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

anonymous: I also have an issue with the WWJD idea, though it seems for different reasons. Jesus' role while he was on earth was *far* different from our role as Christians today, so to ask WWJD won't always give us the best guide for appropriate action. For example, Jesus would (and did) overturn the tables of the money changers in the temple (twice, perhaps). This doesn't mean that we should do similarly, because he was doing so because of his prophetic role, etc., which we don't also have.

I do, however, think that we can ask WWJD in the sense of "what leading do we have from scripture." This way, conscience or the Spirit's leading--which can be misinterpreted (not that scripture can't) and which operates differently for everyone--doesn't have to be relied on alone. So, when it comes to a movie like this, you're right: we can and should rely on conscience and the Spirit's leading, but we can also look to scripture . . . which is what I was trying to bring up to the last anonymous poster, and which is the context I was entertaining the WWJD question in.

Thanks also for your final note. If you don't feel led to see this movie, by all means, be happy for the leading and don't see it. And, like you said, we should be alright with the possibility that other Christians may not feel the same way, and may, in fact, be able to get something positive from such a film.

4:02 PM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Ed:

Thanks, brother, for the vote of confidence. I'm not sure why I wasn't expecting the negative posts, but I wasn't. Now that I've been challenged though, it seems obvious that trying to find that "gold in the gutter" would offend some. I can understand the offense, and I really don't want to mislead people, but I also think that gold's there--and it makes me happy to think that you (and hopefully others) agree.

Thanks!

5:29 PM  
Anonymous said...

My husband and I hired a babysitter last night to see this movie on a very rare, very much anticipated date night. What a bummer it was that we couldn't get through the first 20 minutes. I enjoy comedy and can handle the occasional crude joke, but what is funny, really, about repeated, uninspired use of the f-word, the c-word, the p-word and the t-word? How's a person supposed to sit through that onslaught, just waiting and hoping there's a smidgeon of gold in the gutter by the end? I tried to explain to a friend why we left the movie, but couldn't bring myself to repeat any lines of the movie.

I'm very glad to read the review and learn the main character does wait for his wedding night, but that fact alone does not save this movie (or at least the 20 minutes I saw) from being run-of-the-mill muck.

8:23 AM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Anonymous: Sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you. People definitely have different tolerances for R-rated stuff, and every Christian approaches that "in the world but not of it" dilemma differently. If this movie offended you that quickly, then it was certainly the best move to leave--it's not for you. But as has been said elsewhere, a Christian perspective must and can be had on the movie for those who can sit through it, who have friends who would or have, etc. The gold *is there* for those who, for whatever reason, muck about in this gutter. Thanks for posting your thoughts.

There've been a lot of posts along this line, which is great but . . . does anyone out there want to turn things towards a real discussion about the "in the world but not of it" dilemma I mentioned? There was an HJ Roundtable once about whether Christians should see R-rated comedies. That's really the question we're circling around here. I think it can be done in a positive, responsible way--any other thoughts?

11:08 AM  
Anonymous said...

Wow, I stumbled upon this website and could not help but post a 'blog'.

A question was asked, "Should Christians see R-rated comedies?" Well, what does that mean exactly. What is an R-rated comedy anyways. To be an R-rated comedy usually entails the viewer watching blatant nudity, sex, hearing foul language etc.

Now, what is sin? This is right out of the dictionary by the way. Sin is deliberate disobedience to the known will of God, a condition of estrangement from God resulting from such disobedience, and/or something regarded as being shameful, deplorable, or utterly wrong.

By a person paying money to go watch a comedy with a R-rating, especially a movie called 'The 40-year old virgin' or 'Wedding Crashers', one has to know that they are going to see ronchy, sexual scenes and hear leud jokes. By you or I choosing to do that and support that kind of culture in our society, we are not only choosing to sin, but we are contributing to the breakdown of morals, family values and love in our society.

I have a comment about what one person above said: "Some people definitely have different tolerances for r-rated stuff and every Christian approaches that DILEMMA differently." Yes, people definitely are different. God gave us free will for a reason. He wants to know who will follow Him to the end of time and who will choose to follow the way of the world, for HIS WAY is the opposite of OUR WAY. Just as steel is tested in fire for weaknesses, God tests us in fire and works out our weaknesses, if we let Him. However, if we do not let Him, we will be consumed by our own pride and will not be open to hearing His word.

By someone saying, "I can go to a R-Rated movie and not be affected by what I am seeing," they are saying, "I can do whatever I think is right or wrong without being affected by it. I am a super human. I am next to perfect and can make my own decisions." That is just like saying, "I can go to a strip club and not be affected by the surroundings." or "I can smoke a crack pipe and not be affected by my actions or the drugs. It's all relative and unless it makes me 'feel bad' inside, it isn't really wrong." Of course, those are extreme cases but is all the same when it comes down to following God's word.

The fact is that we cannot make our own decisions or decide what is right or wrong. It is already decided for us. It is by our own faults and decisions that we cannot see the difference between right and wrong. However, through daily prayer and unwavering gift of effort on our part for God, we will oneday know what is good and evil. God does not reveal Himself to us all at once, but step by step. As we make decisions to give our lives to him over and over, He will continue to show us more and more of Himself.

"Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another." - Romans 13:8. Loving one another doesn't mean fluffy caring for one another, I like you, you like me so lets be friends forever. It means wanting the highest and best possible thing for other people. What is the highest and best thing?...... it is helping others to live God's word in their daily life so that at the end of their earthly life they will be welcomed into the kingdom that God has prepared for us. By loving others, we make a decision to help that person attain heaven and know Jesus during their life here on earth. I might add that by us knowing that a person is doing something that is offensive to God and us not calling them on it, it is our bad for not taking action when God called us to do so. We must call them on it and tell them they are mistaken. Then, they are at least informed that they may be wrong and can make an informed decision. By us not doing anything, we are contributing to their mistake.

So, the original question was, "Should Christians watch R-rated comedies (or PG-13 or any movie that is blatanly sinful)?" By us watching that movie, or others like it, we are not contributing and helping others to know God. In fact, we are doing just the opposite. We are paying money for more movies like that to be made. Those movies, those leud jokes, those sexual scenes etc. are an outrage to our Heavenly Father and anyone who cannot see that is gravely mistaken. Jesus came and died for our sins so that we would be saved. We have free will to decide how to live this life. If you are 'not sure' if those movies are okay to watch, then that is a HUGE SIGN that they are NOT OKAY!! If it were right and good and true, you would feel an overwhelming amount of peace in your soul. Do you feel that when you see those movies? I don't. In fact, I feel dirty, like I just rolled around outside in a pig pen. You can reason it anyway you want, but TRUTH is infallible and does not change. Just because you or I or your closest friends and family tell you it's okay doesn't make it so.

One last thought, about "in the world but not of it." You and I are not of this world. We are disgusted and hated at every turn. Our view points and morals make people laugh at us and call us crazy. We choose to do what Jesus has taught us even when it means we don't get to share in the spoils and parties of this world. For by our sacrifices for God, we draw nearer to Him and can hear His voice at every moment in our lives. We are rewarded in this way because we decide to listen to His word and live it out to the very best of our abilities. We give our lives to God because really it is His to begin with. It was never ours and never will be OURS. The moment we decide it is OUR life, not HIS, we have become of this world again. Being "not of this world" carries a heavy 'wordly' burden but reaps more rewards, that are often unseen, than anyone can imagine.

JP

1:53 AM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Anonymous: Thanks for the lengthy and well-thought-out post. I can identify with what you're saying--I often feel that it'd just be easier to check-out on movies like *Virgin* and *Wedding Crashers,* because ultimately, despite any redeeming quality, they will have some negative effect on the viewer. You talk at length about this point, but I would never deny that such media does have bad effects. It does, as does most media today, unfortunately.

The problem is, though, that *this is the state of media today.* The idea that I can somehow not participate in culture as such seems tantamount to being not of the world *and* not in the world. But, as we're all aware of, we're supposed to be both in and not of the world. When Paul spoke to the Greeks at the Areopagus, he quoted from their poets. Now, I'm not an expert on ancient Greek poetry, but I'm positive that some of it mightn't be completely positive for Christians to put in their minds. Nevertheless, Paul was familiar with it, knew that it was the cultural backdrop for his listeners--people who need to hear the gospel--and so used it to be relevant. This, I think, is the model for us to be "in the world, but not of it," and there are other such examples in the Bible.

Now, I'm not saying that because of this we can't also try to *change* culture. We can. Reading things--even things like R-rated movies--spiritually is one way to do just that. I personally don't think that boycotting certain movies, etc., is the way to change culture. If I don't buy a ticket to the movie, there's certainly someone there to buy it in my place. But if I don't give a Christian perspective on the movie, will there be someone then? Of course, there are plenty of Christians having and giving such perspectives on such movies, but it does seem less likely--there are more buyers of R-rated movie tickets than writers of Christian movie reviews. Thus, I choose to buy the ticket, but think about the movie Christianly.

But I wholeheartedly agree with the heart behind your post. Your passion for purity is admirable. I especially agree with your final two points. Yes, if someone isn't sure about whether they should see such a movie, then they shouldn't. Paul says that whatever is not of faith is sin. If we have a guilty conscience about seeing R-rated movies, then we shouldn't see them. I personally do not, because my idea of the "cultural mandate" and the need to remain relevant, "plugged-in," etc., tempers the issues I have with the language, nudity, etc.

And yes, we are *not* of this world. Yes, the world is at odds with God and his Kingdom. Yes, we are like pilgrims far from home. Yes, we should long for the final redemption of all this mess. However, while we're pilgrims, it's *vital* to speak the language of the people among whom we travel. Sometimes that means seeing movies like this.

Thanks for the post . . .

8:36 AM  
Reviews by PapaBear said...

Brother Matthew. Thank you for your comment on my Review. I posted a reply on my blog. I truly enjoy an exchange of views and sharing insight into the Message in the Movie. I follow your Reviews continuiously and enjoy your view. Keep up the good work and stay strong.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous said...

Thank you for the reply. I do having differing opinions as you but I appreciate you posting your views about movies. Your comments are interesting to read.

JP

12:29 PM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Thanks, guys--I appreciate it. Anyone else want to weigh in on the discussion? R-rated movies . . . yay or nay? *Virgin* . . . worth it, or not?

1:23 PM  
Anonymous said...

hey, just wanted to jump in on this. This is my first time to this site sans that one time I wanted to see what Christians were saying about the movie The Woodsman(which I loved by the way, despite it's rough material). This time I wanted to see what Christians were saying about this movie. I have to admit I saw it for the wrong reasons, mainly my lustful heart. But at the end of the movie I was actually blown away that it ended the it did, and it really made me question even my own thoughts on why I was seeing this movie. The main character is obviously a guy whp's been avoiding sex, and thinks rightly about it in most ways, he even waits til he's married. And I realized he probably wouldn't have liked a movie like this, because he believed in sex as a good sacred thing, and a woman's body as not needing to be seen by anyone but her husband. It was his friend's obsession with sex that confused him, and thankfully he unconfuses himself with Trish. Mainly it really spoke to me this movie did. I do think it's good to find gold in the mire, if you can. and the gold found here, though sadly not enough to redeem the movie, certainly was more than I expected of Hollywood. I wou;dn't recommend it, but I would say...it did have some positive message, but I wonder if the mire is worth finding the gold. I'm sure most non christians could find gold in golden movies, see Chronicles of Narnia, and not have to perpetuate the mire. I'm not saying what you do is wrong, I think you go about it very godly...but i would say don't recommend the movie. And I guess that kinda covers my thoughts on R-rated comedies too.

11:23 PM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Thanks for the though--yeah, there's been lots of talk on this post about whether the good in *Virgin* and movies like it are "worth" all the bad . . . and it's definitely an open question. I'd say that Christians need to follow their own sense of leading on this kind of thing. Maybe (I'm just now thinking) some of us are meant to be out in that mire--for whatever reason--and some are not. Maybe it's like the New Testament discussion of some believers eating meat, some not; some keeping certain days, some not; etc. "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial" . . . maybe we all navigate the second part of that differently, but let's not forget the first part of it.

5:28 AM  
Anonymous said...

Judges 21:25 "In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes"

One of your comments made me think of that verse.

I think there is a universal do or do not to be followed on this. It's most likely to be found in the bible somewhere. I think it's right the Holy Spirit should lead us all personally, and will most likely lead each one in different directions. But remember the path is narrow, and though it may be wide enough to move around a bit, it's not so wide that the Holy Spirit is going to lead us far from the truths outlined in the bible. In the bible it says to "flee youthful lusts" and to "let no unclean thing come before our eyes." To "dwell upon whatever is pure, good" etc. I would ask even if you can find a tiny kernel of purity in a movie which is not about purity at all, whether your own purity is worth the degradation of it to find that kernel of gold. I know it's different for non christians, and they will see this movie, and I guess there has to be somebody out there who sees it solely for the purpose of helping these non christians find the good in it. I would say rather, point them in the direction of better movies, movies that are filled with gold. I know I'm repeating myself. and anyways it seems a very thin, and scary line to walk, not something for anyone to take lightly. I think it deserves mountains of prayer and fasting to see if this is your calling. Not say you didn't do just that. But that's what I would say to anyone you were talkig to about this movie, be they a christian. In my own personal experience, seeing the nude body of a woman and sexual acts (including self-sex and oral)always have a negative effect. Those girls are making themselves less beautiful to do such a thing, and I think it's one like me, who gets lost in the mire far too easily that can see something like that. My heart always goes out to someone who feels they have to live like that, and perform like that in order to entertain society. It's hurting their personal growth, and their emotional growth. I just can't see a Christian easily saying it's ok to participate in that.

I think therefore r-rated movies, at least of this kind, which seem the epitome of "youthful lust" need to be approached discerningly, and prayerfully, and biblically, and all aspects of what they are espusing and how they affect even their own actors well being brought into question.

There ya go. Enjoy. lol

Is there any way I could be brought on as a reviewer? or just a participator in these things? I plan on being a writer and journalist and I think this would help in my growth in that area very much so. I'm a 23 year old college student, dunno if that means anything. But yeah...just thought I would ask.

12:38 PM  
Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Anonymous: Thanks again for posting your thoughts, brother. First, if you're interested in reviewing for HJ.com, I applaud the interest. Head over to the *about us* page (scroll all the way to the top), and then look near the bottom of that page--then you can mail the David Bruce, HJ.com webmaster, and go from there.

Now back to it: We can proof-text back and forth forever, and this has pretty much already been done a lot in the above comments, and in the comments on my *Wedding Crashers* review, which started a similar discussion, but the bottom line is that this question of how Christians should (or if they should) approach R-rated material isn't going to be finally solved by us. In fact, there's a whole roundtable discussion on HJ about this issue--just look for it back on the homepage. But I do think a guiding principle is the one I mentioned above: "everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial." It really seems that this has to be our attitude with each other, as believers, when it comes to these kinds of questions. As soon as we try to tell one another that we're wrong for doing something, when it isn't completely clear that the other person is, for sure, wrong in action, motivation, effect, etc., then we've misstepped. I can't fault a believer for not wanting to see *40 Year Old Virgin,* but neither can a believer fault me for approaching it in what I consider an appropriately Christian way--and yes, even finding a kernel of purity in it.

Now, just so I don't keep rambling, and because I think a couple of posts above will nicely sum up the issue we're going back and forth on, I'm here going to copy a post from above, and my response to it. Hopefully these can serve as final words, of a sort. But please, if you have any other thoughts, kick it. And maybe I'll hear from you again as a fellow reviewer (make sure to mail me and let me know :)) . . .

*begin copy*

JP said:

A question was asked, "Should Christians see R-rated comedies?" Well, what does that mean exactly. What is an R-rated comedy anyways. To be an R-rated comedy usually entails the viewer watching blatant nudity, sex, hearing foul language etc.

Now, what is sin? This is right out of the dictionary by the way. Sin is deliberate disobedience to the known will of God, a condition of estrangement from God resulting from such disobedience, and/or something regarded as being shameful, deplorable, or utterly wrong.

By a person paying money to go watch a comedy with a R-rating, especially a movie called 'The 40-year old virgin' or 'Wedding Crashers', one has to know that they are going to see ronchy, sexual scenes and hear leud jokes. By you or I choosing to do that and support that kind of culture in our society, we are not only choosing to sin, but we are contributing to the breakdown of morals, family values and love in our society.

I have a comment about what one person above said: "Some people definitely have different tolerances for r-rated stuff and every Christian approaches that DILEMMA differently." Yes, people definitely are different. God gave us free will for a reason. He wants to know who will follow Him to the end of time and who will choose to follow the way of the world, for HIS WAY is the opposite of OUR WAY. Just as steel is tested in fire for weaknesses, God tests us in fire and works out our weaknesses, if we let Him. However, if we do not let Him, we will be consumed by our own pride and will not be open to hearing His word.

By someone saying, "I can go to a R-Rated movie and not be affected by what I am seeing," they are saying, "I can do whatever I think is right or wrong without being affected by it. I am a super human. I am next to perfect and can make my own decisions." That is just like saying, "I can go to a strip club and not be affected by the surroundings." or "I can smoke a crack pipe and not be affected by my actions or the drugs. It's all relative and unless it makes me 'feel bad' inside, it isn't really wrong." Of course, those are extreme cases but is all the same when it comes down to following God's word.

The fact is that we cannot make our own decisions or decide what is right or wrong. It is already decided for us. It is by our own faults and decisions that we cannot see the difference between right and wrong. However, through daily prayer and unwavering gift of effort on our part for God, we will oneday know what is good and evil. God does not reveal Himself to us all at once, but step by step. As we make decisions to give our lives to him over and over, He will continue to show us more and more of Himself.

"Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another." - Romans 13:8. Loving one another doesn't mean fluffy caring for one another, I like you, you like me so lets be friends forever. It means wanting the highest and best possible thing for other people. What is the highest and best thing?...... it is helping others to live God's word in their daily life so that at the end of their earthly life they will be welcomed into the kingdom that God has prepared for us. By loving others, we make a decision to help that person attain heaven and know Jesus during their life here on earth. I might add that by us knowing that a person is doing something that is offensive to God and us not calling them on it, it is our bad for not taking action when God called us to do so. We must call them on it and tell them they are mistaken. Then, they are at least informed that they may be wrong and can make an informed decision. By us not doing anything, we are contributing to their mistake.

So, the original question was, "Should Christians watch R-rated comedies (or PG-13 or any movie that is blatanly sinful)?" By us watching that movie, or others like it, we are not contributing and helping others to know God. In fact, we are doing just the opposite. We are paying money for more movies like that to be made. Those movies, those leud jokes, those sexual scenes etc. are an outrage to our Heavenly Father and anyone who cannot see that is gravely mistaken. Jesus came and died for our sins so that we would be saved. We have free will to decide how to live this life. If you are 'not sure' if those movies are okay to watch, then that is a HUGE SIGN that they are NOT OKAY!! If it were right and good and true, you would feel an overwhelming amount of peace in your soul. Do you feel that when you see those movies? I don't. In fact, I feel dirty, like I just rolled around outside in a pig pen. You can reason it anyway you want, but TRUTH is infallible and does not change. Just because you or I or your closest friends and family tell you it's okay doesn't make it so.

One last thought, about "in the world but not of it." You and I are not of this world. We are disgusted and hated at every turn. Our view points and morals make people laugh at us and call us crazy. We choose to do what Jesus has taught us even when it means we don't get to share in the spoils and parties of this world. For by our sacrifices for God, we draw nearer to Him and can hear His voice at every moment in our lives. We are rewarded in this way because we decide to listen to His word and live it out to the very best of our abilities. We give our lives to God because really it is His to begin with. It was never ours and never will be OURS. The moment we decide it is OUR life, not HIS, we have become of this world again. Being "not of this world" carries a heavy 'wordly' burden but reaps more rewards, that are often unseen, than anyone can imagine.

JP
1:53 AM

Reviews by Matthew Hill said...

Anonymous: Thanks for the lengthy and well-thought-out post. I can identify with what you're saying--I often feel that it'd just be easier to check-out on movies like *Virgin* and *Wedding Crashers,* because ultimately, despite any redeeming quality, they will have some negative effect on the viewer. You talk at length about this point, but I would never deny that such media does have bad effects. It does, as does most media today, unfortunately.

The problem is, though, that *this is the state of media today.* The idea that I can somehow not participate in culture as such seems tantamount to being not of the world *and* not in the world. But, as we're all aware of, we're supposed to be both in and not of the world. When Paul spoke to the Greeks at the Areopagus, he quoted from their poets. Now, I'm not an expert on ancient Greek poetry, but I'm positive that some of it mightn't be completely positive for Christians to put in their minds. Nevertheless, Paul was familiar with it, knew that it was the cultural backdrop for his listeners--people who need to hear the gospel--and so used it to be relevant. This, I think, is the model for us to be "in the world, but not of it," and there are other such examples in the Bible.

Now, I'm not saying that because of this we can't also try to *change* culture. We can. Reading things--even things like R-rated movies--spiritually is one way to do just that. I personally don't think that boycotting certain movies, etc., is the way to change culture. If I don't buy a ticket to the movie, there's certainly someone there to buy it in my place. But if I don't give a Christian perspective on the movie, will there be someone then? Of course, there are plenty of Christians having and giving such perspectives on such movies, but it does seem less likely--there are more buyers of R-rated movie tickets than writers of Christian movie reviews. Thus, I choose to buy the ticket, but think about the movie Christianly.

But I wholeheartedly agree with the heart behind your post. Your passion for purity is admirable. I especially agree with your final two points. Yes, if someone isn't sure about whether they should see such a movie, then they shouldn't. Paul says that whatever is not of faith is sin. If we have a guilty conscience about seeing R-rated movies, then we shouldn't see them. I personally do not, because my idea of the "cultural mandate" and the need to remain relevant, "plugged-in," etc., tempers the issues I have with the language, nudity, etc.

And yes, we are *not* of this world. Yes, the world is at odds with God and his Kingdom. Yes, we are like pilgrims far from home. Yes, we should long for the final redemption of all this mess. However, while we're pilgrims, it's *vital* to speak the language of the people among whom we travel. Sometimes that means seeing movies like this.

*end copy*

7:35 PM  
Anonymous said...

thanks for the insightful answers. I actually felt that I had come across quite antagonistic, and I apologize for that. I'm a fairly young christian growing up in a pretty churched culture. Still trying to become relevant and think outside the box. I like your answer cause it doesn't put God to the side or seem like a compromise, it comes across as definitely the heart of God, which is to love one another, and you're doing your best in your calling to love those who may not watch the more "pure" movies, by reaching out to them . I applaud that. Good job my bro. I think if you keep that heart you'll always be in the right, for you'll always be walking in God's heart.

and thank you for the info on how to become a reviewer, i will definitely look into that. My name is Justin, and I'll let ya know what happens.

God Bless, and Bless God.
Justin

11:04 PM  

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