Barnyard

First let me start off by saying that there has only been one movie I have ever walked out on, and that was Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius. I just didn’t care to see the ending. I didn’t care about the movie. I surely didn’t care that Nickelodeon decided to turn a second rate film, into a terrible TV series. Most importantly I didn’t care to see their new movie, Barnyard.

But after much consideration I decided to go out and give it a shot. After all I am a tremendous fan of animated films, and the second Nickelodeon 3d film can’t be as bad as Jimmy Neutron right?

Well the truth is I don’t know, I only have a vague idea of the plot. Why you ask? Why would you spend an hour and a half in a movie full of crying babies and laughing kids and not pay attention to the movie Was it the kids, was it the Cell Phones?

I worked at Chuck E. Cheese for over two years, so crying kids do not bother me anymore. The reason I couldn’t pay attention to this movie was well because of the movie. You see it’s really simple. All the cows in the Barnard world have utters. And it is so distracting to watch that I quite simply couldn’t focus on any of the plot.

For those of you that don’t get it. Male cows are called bulls. They do not have utters. To see a male and female cow both displaying milk dispensers is annoying and distracting.

But if I could somehow get passed the bad character design, the story is nothing more then a barnyard version of The Lion King. It is actually almost exactly like it.

I can’t really go into detail why without giving it away, but don’t worry it’s not worth seeing much anyway. Just go rent The Lion King, sit back and be glad, Timone and Pumba were drawn to sex.

Actually this movie was so distracting for me as a viewer, that I was districted with discovering any hidden biblical meanings, or messages….or maybe that is the message.

Satan uses things like boy cows with utters, to distract you from God’s message. Whether it is sitting in church texting on a cell phone, or just quite simply working to hard. These can all be distracting from what God is trying to reveal to you.

So just be still and know that God is God. Ignore male cow’s with utters and do not watch this movie.

---Marcus