FROZEN STUPID - The Journal, Part Two

Note: This entry is a continuation of my journal I wrote during the filming of indie comedy, FROZEN STUPID. Here we are on our interior "ice shanty" set. Nicole Davenport checks props, director Rich Brauer frames the shot, and I laugh at something while sitting with my continuity/script supervision notes.

Tuesday, January 24 Ernie’s Birthday

We are on the shanty set all day on the fourth floor of the hotel. It looks great. And I’m glad we aren’t freezing our buns off outside. Today is snowy and cold. Ernie and other lead actor Joey Albright do great. I’m more on my game than yesterday, and so is Nicole, the prop master. (She also wears many other hats including craft services," making-of� video-meister, and over all PA. She’s amazing.) Nicole takes lots of set picks on her digital camera, saving my butt and the butt of the movie in general, making sure everything gets back in place as it should from take to take and from scene to scene. Ernest tells a funny story on how his first head shot photographer made him say the “S-word� because he told him everyone always smiles when they say it. During one scene, Joey drops a perch into the minnow bucket, fishes it out, and almost loses it back down the hole. Of course, this isn’t’ scripted, but it’s the funniest stuff we see all day. We’ll probably use that take in the movie.

Wednesday, January 25

We are running ahead of schedule. Director Rich Brauer says, “I got to make longer films.� We finish a long scene in the morning so early that we shoot another short scene before lunch, all on the Shanty set. In the morning, our local fishing expert, Norm Bissel is hooked good by Ernie pulling on a line. Ernie keeps pulling until Norm hollers so loud, we have to yell “Cut.� Lunch is abbreviated for me because I run out to K-mart to buy 600 Polaroid film. I buy 5 two packs, worth 100 shots. This should last us through the shoot. We are snapping lots off. During a break, Ernie tells me THE VIKINGS director, Richard Fliesher is a real gentleman, a quiet man. He says he’s still alive too, (and Fleisher was born before Ernie!) The Humane Society lady shows up today on set to make sure we are handling the fish properly. The HS lady joins us for lunch and what do we eat? Fish! In the afternoon, we shoot Ernie outside waving to his son. We shoot in front of a local Bank and local extras join us for a very quick scene. Our DNR officer character also joins us. Though the temperature is in the 20s, the wind chill must be below zero. We do one more scene outside and my fingers get so numb, it’s hard to write my notes. We go back to the shanty set and do one more scene with our DNR officer actor. Always remember to take your license when you go fishing.

FROZEN STUPID - The Journal, Part One

In addition to writing for HollywoodJesus.com, I also work in film production. Recently, I had the pleasure of working as Script Supervisor on an indie comedy called FROZEN STUPID, shot on Houghton Lake, Michigan. The movie is directed by Rich Brauer, DP for Jeff Daniel's movie ESCANABA IN DA MOONLIGHT. About ice fishing, FROZEN STUPID stars Ernest Borgnine. Here are a few journal entries that I thought you all might enjoy. (By the way, I'm wearing the hat with the cross on it in the crew shot.)

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I arrive at the Comfort Inn Suites at about 4:00pm. I’ll be sharing a room with friend, gaffer and Brauer Productions veteran Jim Wrocklage. I’m OK with that because Jim doesn’t snore. On the way inside, I meet Rich out in the parking lot and he tells me they batted 1,000 yesterday doing the parade scene. After checking out the shanty interior set on the 4th floor of the hotel, we all load up in the Limberlost shuttle bus (Limberlost is a Houghton Lake legendary restaurant) and head over to Springbrook Inn for a private dinner with crew, Ernest Borgnine, and actress Kimberly Guerrero. I eat a very tasty Mahi Mahi dish. Our table is all crew and only one female, the 1st AD Holli Bremer. We mostly discuss cars and websites that have grisly crime photos. Hope I can sleep tonight. The first night in a strange hotel is usually rough.

Monday, January 23, 2006

In the morning we shot at the Killkare Inn, a local watering hole in Houghton Lake. Purpose Rose Theater veteran Randy Godwin who plays Wendell (Purple Rose Theater was started in Chelsea, Michigan by actor Jeff Daniels) did some great improvisational storytelling with his “bull� stories. Funny guy. First days of shoots are always sloppy for me. I got to get my rhythm, my continuity mojo back. I quickly abdicated giving up the slate to Holli. Seems I wasn’t alone in my awkwardness. Somebody forgot to bring extra blank tapes to the set and someone had to drive back to the hotel to get some. Oh well. The end result wasn’t compromised and we all pledged to do better the next day. The great thing about Brauer shoots is that we all have fun and give each other lots of grace. If you can’t have fun in what you do, give it up and do something else. In afternoon, we went out on the ice. They drove Rich’s truck out there too and the ice creaked and groaned, making us all a little nervous.

Original and Powerful - A Devotion

Have them use gold, and blue, purple and scarlet yarn, and fine linen.
Exodus 28:5 NIV

The latest Christian rock CD sounds just like the latest pop-rock secular group. Disappointing fans again, the newest dramatic prophetic sequel fails miserably at the box office. With bad acting and poor special effects, it just can’t compete against Hollywood offerings. Why do so many Christian artists try to copycat the secular world and often, only create poor imitations of what has already been made? Instead, Christians should be creatively leading the way instead of following.

Some Christians cry, “We don’t have the funding to compete.� This still implies you need to somehow be similar to gain appeal. Break the mold and create a new thing. Create a new sound. Work with low budgets and tell a great story through good acting and compelling plot lines.

When God made giraffes, porcupines and clown fish, He made originals. He filled the earth with his glory. If He creates anew with power and wonder, and Christians have access to His throne, shouldn’t they be making powerful, creative, original art too?

Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are in essence ignoring the owner’s manual your creator gave you and destroying your design.
Oprah Winfrey

THE PINK PANTHER

—1. Overview
—2. Cast and Crew
—3. Photo Pages
—4. Trailers, Clips, DVDs, Books, Soundtrack
—5. Posters
—6. Production Notes (pdf)
—7. Spiritual Connections
—8. Presentation Downloads

I wanted to start this review with a Pink Panther joke but I could only remember the punch line. The punch line is “Dead-ant. Dead-ant. Dead-ant. Dead-ant….� - a take off on the Henri Mancini theme song. So, if you know the set-up part of this joke, somebody blog me and let us all enjoy it.

So, not knowing this joke, I’ll start by telling you that as a rule, I hate remakes. I only think remakes are acceptable if you can truly bring something truly new to the table like improved CGI special effects, etc. (I thought the Peter Jackson KING KONG was quite good.) Yet conversely, I thought the PLANET OF THE APES remake was abominable, and CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY was only passable.

As far as remakes go, THE PINK PANTHER is also merely passable entertainment. In other words, it entertains even if it isn't orignal. Steve Martin is one of my very favorite comedic actors of all time. Nevertheless, the original Inspector Clouseau Peter Sellers ranks even higher in comic ability. Clouseau and Sellers are so inexorably linked that it’s difficult to imagine anyone else filling out the trench coat of the bumbling, inept French policeman. Martin certainly faces an uphill climb. Many Sellers purists will detest this incarnation.

Nevertheless, this PINK PANTHER showed lots of promise with its pedigree of supporting cast members. The coolest working French actor today, Jean Reno stars as Clouseau’s sidekick, Gendarme Gilbert Ponton. Emily Mortimer, hot off the heels of savvy MATCH POINT, stars as Clouseau’s secretary and eventual love interest, Nicole. The always skillful and dynamic Kevin Kline plays the fall guy, Clouseau’s boss, Chief Inspector Dreyfus, whose character suffers the greatest pains and indignities to comic effect. And, Beyoncé Knowles looks and sings great in a very limited role.

The plot is simple. Someone kills off a famous young French soccer coach and steals his famous Pink Panther diamond. Chief Inspector hires Clouseau to get on the case, only to buy time so that when the Chief Inspector is ready, he’ll solve the case, and take all the fame and glory that comes with it. Clouseau bumbles his way through, amassing clues that go nowhere, but somehow puts the pieces together at the final hour.

Humor abounds but not all of the comedy works. Lots of slapstick shtick ensues, as does a smattering of sexually suggestive material. I laughed the hardest when Cloueseau tries to learn an American accent and fails miserably. (You’ll learn what a “damburgert� is after watching.) Another funny scene is when Clouseau and Ponton dress up in a disguise of colorful leotards, and then must perform a goofy dance to foil would-be thwarters.

I was going to consider this movie spiritually insignificant. (After all, I have been blamed for squeezing spiritual blood from cinematic stones in the past. I’ve learned one doesn’t have to find a spiritual lesson in everything for it to have value. Humor, joy and art have value in and of themselves.) But, then I realized this movie does have very strong spiritual significance.

THE PINK PANTHER demonstrates that the foolish things of this world sometimes confound the wise. Clouseau hasn’t the intelligence or skill to be a brilliant crime solver, but he does have his heart in the right place and he loves justice. These two fine attributes go a long way, and they overcome the pride and arrogance of the Chief Inspector. Clouseau wins out in the end. He encourages all ugly ducklings and bumbling buffoons that competence isn’t number one. God loves to use the weak to achieve His purposes.

— Overview

THE MATADOR

—1. Overview
—2. Cast and Crew
—3. Photo Pages
—4. Trailers, Clips, DVDs, Books, Soundtrack
—5. Posters (Pierce Brosnan)
—6. Production Notes (pdf)
—7. Spiritual Connections
—8. Presentation Downloads

Globetrotting, over sexed, and commissioned to kill Pierce Brosnan plays… “Noble. Julian Noble,� a rude, slightly crazed assassin losing his edge. He meets an American, domesticated, salesman named Danny Wright, played by Greg Kinnear, in a Mexico City Bar. Both are somewhat lonely, and unsure of their futures. Julian fears of losing work to younger men, while Danny faces stiff competition on an impending business deal. They strike up a conversation where Danny confesses his son was killed in a car accident, and then Julian responds by making a dirty joke. Danny walks away, but is strangely drawn to this piggish Englishman who carries with him a sense of mystery and danger.

Julian tries to make up for his rudeness by inviting Danny to attend a real bull fight. There, Julian tells Danny his real job. Unconvinced, Danny asks Julian to show him how he would do it. Julian walks Danny through the steps, identifying a man, tracking him down and then busting in on him in a stall in the men’s room. No harm, no foul, but Danny now understands that Julian’s for real.

Then Julian crosses the line. He asks Danny to help him complete a job. Danny flat out refuses. He sticks his hands over his ears and shouts nonsense to hear no part of this killer scheme. Later that night, Julian knocks on Danny’s door asking for forgiveness, while Danny sits quietly inside the room.

Jump ahead six months. Julian has just visited Budapest, Moscow and Manila. In Manila, Julian fails to complete an assignment and is now targeted by his employer for extermination. Back at home in Denver, Danny enjoys a successful, happy life with his wife “Bean� (Hope Davis).

On night at 11:30pm, Julian knocks on Danny’s door. In awkward confusion, Danny and “Bean� invite Julian inside where they drink and discuss old times, like they were old friends. In reality, Julian shows up to ask Danny for “a favor.� Julian wants Danny to help him “complete a job.� Danny accepts. This twist involves the reason why Danny is now so suddenly successful and why he “owes� Julian a favor.

It’s good to see Greg Kinnear in perhaps his best work since AS GOOD AS IT GETS, and his strongest role since 2002s AUTO FOCUS. Pierce Brosnan, likewise, performs admirably as an anti-Bond, the complete opposite of the debonair English super-spy. Hope Davis, initially, serves as mere window dressing until Julian visits and then we learn she has secrete knowledge previously unknown to the viewers.

The color of both the Mexican landscapes and the huge subtitle lettering creates an impressive visual feast. The story shows a care and complexity towards male relationships that are rarely explored in movies these days.

In fact, the premise of this movie reminded me a lot of John Eldredge’s book WILD AT HEART. Like many suburban American men, Danny is looking for an adventure to conquer and a woman to win. He recognizes Julian has both adventure and power. Julian, conversely, knows his womanizing, jet setting ways are getting the best of him. Domestication looks appealing. They both have experiences and personality traits the other needs. Hence, in a weird sort of way, THE MATADOR emphasizes the point that men need each other. We can’t go through life alone, slowly having our manhood sucked out of us by suburban domesticity.

Of course, violence and killing your competition isn’t what Eldredge advocates. Eldredge endorses the fact that men are made in God’s image and God is fierce and unsafe. These qualities should be channeled in more productive endeavors.

THE MATADOR stumbles as a film because it can’t decide whether to be a comedy or a drama and gets stuck in the middle. Lots of films like AS GOOD AS IT GETS are able to walk this thin line and succeed, but THE MATADOR already showcases the absurd Julian Noble character, which to me, seems to suggest it should have pushed the comedic elements.

THE MATADOR isn’t a great film. Indeed, it’s not making much of a splash at the box office. And, its subject matter is prohibitive to attracting a sizeable crowd. But for fans of the assassin genre, and fans of the buddy comedy, it serves a place. Again, men need each other to give each other permission to succeed and have courage. We need to support each other, and help each other out from time to time. And most importantly, we need to respect the lives of each other, even if that man is our competitor.

—1. Overview