Friends with Money

As I see it, being “real� has become far too overrated. That’s right. We may bow down to its healing properties. We may see it as the only way to ever truly know and understand ourselves and the world in which we live. But when I think about all of those “get real with me� conversations I’ve ever had, all of those movies I love so much because they are truthful about the “reality� of the world they seek to portray, and all of the things and people we applaud because they dare to be “real� about something, I cannot help but feel that our idea of “being real� is almost always missing a good half of what reality actually is.

Take, for example, Nicole Holofcener’s newest film, Friends with Money. This story of four friends, three with money and one without, is a story that aims to be real. It is story that wants to be truthful about wealth, about middle-age, about marriage, about relationships, and about the hopes and dreams we all have for our lives. Essentially, it is a story that tells its viewers that almost every dream we might have for our lives is no where near the ticket to happiness we imagine it to be.

As the three rich friends show us, money is not equivalent to happiness. How about success in the career of your dreams? Not that either. Marriage? Kids? Not necessarily. Even being able to partner in the success of your dream career with your equally successful and talented spouse? Almost worse.

Pretty much, life does NOT get better down road. Even if we earn money, even if we reach goals, even if we find people to share our lives with, we will all still have issues, we will all still have problems, and, in general, life will always be marginally livable.

As Jane, the oldest of the four friends, says to her husband one night, “I feel like there’s no more wondering what it’s going to be like…my fabulous life.�

She has it all, but all it feels like she is doing is “just waiting to die.�

She talks about how life is like shampooing your hair. She used to see every time she washed her hair and every new shampoo as an opportunity for something better. Then she found out that every shampoo was just the same as the rest. And now, not even the urgings of her best friends and husband can get her to wash her hair at all.

At the end of it all, Friends with Money is a depressing slice of discontented middle-aged life. Holofcener’s script does a good job of portraying what seems like an accurate picture of many people’s lives by staying firmly rooted in the everyday. She lets us see hopelessness in its natural form instead of hitting us over the head with its extremes. And most of her cast gives a range of performances that lend her story credibility.

But, even though it’s not bad, Friends with Money is still not that good. Nothing about it is new; nothing about it is original; and, frankly, the one-sided nature of all but McDormand’s characters and storylines makes for a movie that comes off as sorely lacking.

As anyone who has accompanied me to the movie store knows, I tend to gravitate towards “the dark side of life� movies more often than not. I like the truth. I like when stories and movies look at what is real. But, after watching Friends with Money, I have also come to the conclusion that just because it is depressing, does not necessarily make it realistic, and just because it is happy or funny, does not make it fantasy.

It is true that life is not a field of flowers. Far too often, things don’t turn out as nicely as we had planned. But, at the same time that we must recognize that life is hard, that everyone has pain, issues, and problems, I also think we need to realize that life would never be so painful if we didn’t know that there are good and happy things out there as well.

My problem with Friends with Money is that it barely acknowledges any opposite to its hopelessness. Sure, its Woody Allen like glimpses into the sadness of day-to-day life may be truthful in many ways. But the next time I go looking for a movie that’s going to be “real� about life, I plan to look beyond movies better paired with antidepressants than popcorn.

Yes, life can be depressing. But it is also funny, happy, hilariously crazy, and, at times, even as coincidentally good to us as the latest romantic comedy. Why else would we hurt so bad when life is less than ideal? Why else would we ever keep going?

Art School Confidential

—1. Overview
—2. Cast and Crew
—3. Photo Pages
—4. Trailers, Clips, DVDs, Books, Soundtrack
—5. Posters (abstract art)
—6. Production Notes (pdf)
—7. Spiritual Connections
—8. Presentation Downloads

Sometimes our passions don’t correspond with reality. Sure, they may be the only thing we can think about. They may be the only thing we truly know about ourselves and the life we are meant to lead. But when our passions meet the world around us, the truth is that some are just not meant to be, meant to ever be, or at least not meant to be right now. Especially when it comes to the creative side of things…

Open Terry Zwigoff’s newest film, Art School Confidential, a glance into one of the most concentrated groups of “passionate� young people today. Each student is passionate about something, about an idea, a style, a story, a subject, or a medium. Their lives and their beings are wholly devoted to and wrapped around what they believe in. And although its title positions the story as almost exclusive, the story that the film portrays is one that reaches far beyond the walls of art school.

From the first scene to the last, each character in the story is blatantly built up as a stereotype. They are all barely able to vote and probably still a few years away from being able to legally consume the alcohol that already fuels their days and nights, but nonetheless, they know who they are and what they are about; period; they mean business; you’d better take them seriously.

Yeah, right. Stop, smile, and shake your head. Because that is all the movie allows you to do. Stare blankly at the child’s crayon drawing that is supposed to be a masterpiece. Raise your eyebrows the F grade student film that is to be nothing short of next year’s Oscar winner. Rub your forehead at the middle-aged art professor who paints nothing but triangles and can’t understand why no one likes his work. And, even if somewhat reluctantly, shake your head at the young man who wants to be the greatest artist of all time right now, wants the woman of many man’s dreams, as his first girlfriend, right now…and, of course, gets it all when he finds himself uniquely connected to a string of killings.

But don’t get too high and mighty, because, if we are truthful with ourselves, we have all been there.

Overall, Art School Confidential is quite ridiculous. It is not a story that is meant to be taken seriously. You know that none of the seasoned actors playing bit roles as professors are taking it seriously. But as it takes on an almost Scary Movie like attack on the art world and the life dreams that its characters take so seriously, its absurdity slips a more universal reality under its paint spattered story, the truth that this absurdity is far too often the way many of us think and live.

We all have dreams, concrete plans that are unchangeable, and people and ideas that are essential to who we are and how we live. Sometimes those plans, dreams, and partnerships are meant to be. But far too often, even though we can’t let them go, even though we can’t see any other options, they are simply not meant to happen.

Barely a few years older than the art school students, I know these feelings well. That desire to know what I am supposed to do and be who I am supposed to be right now. That sometimes feeling that maybe I know what I am supposed to be doing and better hold onto that even if it means abandoning everything else.

It does feel good to have a passion for something, but as Art School Confidential makes us realize, life has to be bigger than what we think we know and what we think we are supposed to do. It is about options beyond what we are able to see, situations beyond our comprehension, and plans too big for us to even begin to formulate ourselves. And even though we may never have the promise of only-in-the-movies serial-killing PR to make all of our deepest and most passionate dreams come true, I believe that the bigger world in which we live promises that there truly is something better out there for each and every one of us. Our only task—to be open to whatever that life may be.

—Overview