INTERRACIAL DATING MOVIE WEEKEND: A Commentary on GUESS WHO, BEAUTY SHOP and the Dreams of Dr. Martin Luther King
—Photos
—About this Film pdf
—Spiritual Connections
As everyone knows by now, Guess Who is a remake of the 1967 classic film "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner". In this case, the Sidney Poitier role is now played by Aston Kutcher, the Spencer Tracy role is now played by Bernie Mac, and the tone of the new film has reverted from philosophical drama to sitcom-based hijinks. The first half of the film plays the typical hand illustrating the differences (positive and negative) between Blacks and Whites. But as the film progresses, it evolves into something a bit deeper. In spite all of their differences, Mac & Kutcher (and we, the audience) discover that, in essence, we're all the same. We all behave foolish when it comes to love. We all say the wrong things at the wrong times to our loved ones. We're all willing to behave even more foolish when it comes to making things right with our loved ones. Whether we're just getting engaged (in Kutcher's case) or celebrating our 25th anniversay (in Mac's case), the game of love is the same ole' game regardless of the color of your skin. It's the same way with life, as I most recently discovered over the weekend in which I saw this film:
INTERRACIAL DATING MOVIE WEEKEND: A Commentary on GUESS WHO, BEAUTY SHOP and the Dreams of Dr. Martin Luther King
April 1-3 was a very interesting weekend for me at the movies. Friday night, I saw a double feature of Guess Who and Hitch at a drive-in movie (there are still a few of those left). Saturday night, I saw Beauty Shop at the multiplex with a bunch of my friends. As we sat at Starbucks debriefing Beauty Shop and the other two films I saw, a friend commented, “Wow! I guess you can label this weekend Interracial Dating Movie Weekend, huh?� I laughed of course; but then I started to think deeper about her comments.
The irony of my Beauty Shop experience with my friends was that we (my wife and I) were the only African-American couple in our group that night. Let me be a bit more honest: we’re the only African-American couple in this particular group PERIOD! We’ve seen countless movies with this group of friends and they support my efforts as a small-time movie critic. We’ve seen some good flicks together and we’ve seen our fair share of duds as well. But there was something a bit more profound about our time watching Queen Latifah styling heads and making us laugh. What we saw on screen was a mirror of our reality as friends: Black folks and White folks mingling together, learning to look past their differences and embracing their similarities, and creating a healthy community. We saw a glimpse of what Dr. King dreamed about when he envisioned a world where people would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. We saw a White hairstylist (Alicia Silverstone) endure the scrutiny of her Black counterparts only to happily gain their acceptance—and their defense—because of her talents as well as the goodness within her heart. We saw Queen Latifah giving styling advice—as well as life advice—to her White clients who embraced her for her efforts.
In addition, we are also given a glimpse of his Dream of (not so) little Black boys and girls joining hands together with (not so) little White boys and girls, as was the case in Guess Who. In the case of Hitch, a Latina girl was thrown into the mix. The aforementioned White hairstylist in Beauty Shop, with the assistance of her down-home Southern charm and some flashy dance floor moves, was able to win the heart of the only Black male hairstylist in the beauty shop. The night before, I saw Bernie Mac pick Ashton Kutcher apart thirty-six ways from Sunday in an effort to “protect� his daughter (Zoë Saldana) from the societal scorn that would result from their interracial relationship. Ninety minutes later, after discovering how far Kutcher would go to protect the woman he loved from societal scorn within his workplace, Mac became a champion for their relationship and was instrumental in helping them preserve their bond of love. And, of course, over $170 million dollars has been spent watching an African American dating consultant win the heart of a Latina gossip columnist. Could this be the signal of a new reality? Are we getting closer to answering Samuel L. Jackson’s question that his Mr. Senor Love Daddy asked in the closing moments of Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing: “People, are we gonna live together? Together are we gonna live?� In these films, as well as my reality, the answer looks like a resounding "Yes!"
In 2002, with nothing but hope for a better life and trust in Jesus Christ, I moved out of South Central Los Angeles to Orange County (a.k.a. The O.C.). I did more than just change zip codes. I stepped out on faith and broke free from the cultural shackles imposed upon me by society as well as some of my own kinsmen who, filled with pride and scorn, labeled me a sell-out for moving out of “da hood.� My new stomping grounds are in some of the most affluent neighborhoods in the United States. I’ve got a new set of friends who (obviously) have different life experiences than I do. Most of my friends are White with a few Blacks and Latinos thrown into the mix. Three couples in our immediate circle of friends are interracial couples. I’m an IT guy by day, amateur film critic by night. My friends are psychiatrists, businessmen, software developers, doctors, lawyers, law students, office managers, architects and church pastors. They make yearly pilgrimages to Hawaii and other exotic vacation destinations. I just made my first trip to Hawaii last year. They own classic American houses and beachfront cottages. I live in a one bedroom apartment.
But we have NEVER made a fuss about our differences. In the end, we are the same: ordinary folks who get up in the morning, endure freeway traffic, struggle to keep marriages secure and search for our own fulfillment of the American dream. On a deeper level, the biggest similarity between us and our new community is our focus on keeping God/Jesus at the center of our lives. Even that particular mission is manifested in different ways in our own individual lives and families. But the goal is the same: Knowing Christ.
Now, of course, we’ve had the opportunity to share our differences with each other. I’ve shared my experiences going to a predominantly Black college and living in South Central LA. My wife and I have made some deliberate attempts to expose our friends to African American style, culture and food (my good friends Keith and Jana Anderson have developed a fetish for Roscoe’s Chicken N’ Waffles—YES, that’s a real restaurant and, YES, that’s the big item on their menu!). They have encouraged me to do things I’ve never tried to do before. Because of my friends, I am committed to learning to swim—a major step for a guy who just last year was afraid to put his face under water! In my community, I am not seen as “the token Black guy.� My wife and I are simply seen as “Chris and Ilayna,� their friends. Period. We do not overlook our differences. Instead we embrace them and use them as tools to build our community. We are the manifestation of Dr. King’s Dream. That’s what I saw in these three films that I witnessed this weekend: the manifestation of Dr. King’s dream.
Through these films and through our lives, we realize that we are different, but the same. Whether it is our struggle to have our gifts and talents accepted, or our struggle to regain the trust of our loved ones, or our struggle for unconditional acceptance, we are the same. Our thoughts, our experiences and our skin color may be different, but, in the end, we’re all in the same boat. As the Apostle Paul tells us, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for (we) are all one in Christ Jesus.� (Galatians 3:28). As we collectively continue to move toward this similar oneness in American culture, we move closer to that day that Dr. King so eloquently dreamed about in which all of us, regardless of race, creed, color or religious preference, will triumphantly cry out, “Free At Last!�
With films like these…and other communities similar to mine…we’re well on our way!
—Overview
—Photos
—About this Film pdf
—Spiritual Connections
