A Tribute to Friends (1994--2004)

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A Tribute to Friends (1994--2004)
A Hollywood Jesus Commentary by Chris Utley
(A special thanks to the lovely and vivacious Ilayna Utley for her assistance and vast knowledge of all things Friends. She is the Rachel to my Ross, the Monica to my Chandler, the Joey to my Phoebe [I’m the free-spirited one!]. Thank you, babe, for always being there for me!)

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year
But ...

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'cause you're there for me too.

Once upon a time in the fall of 1994, a TV show premiered on NBC. It told the story of 6 twenty-something New Yorkers as they navigated their way through life. It became a runaway smash hit that soared to the top of the Nielsen ratings. Ten years later, these “Friends� have become America's Friends. America has laughed with them, cried with them, celebrated love, marriage and birth with them. And . . . they’ve learned quirky songs about smelly cats.

On Thursday May 6th 2004, these “Friends� rode off into the television sunset as the final episode aired. Now, mind you, I've been known to sneak a peek at a couple of episodes from time to time, but Friends was never my thing. I was never one of those who would stop everything I was doing to make sure I never missed an episode. My wife, on the other hand, is a Friends fanatic. On a typical Thursday night in my house, while I have hijacked the living room TV and surround sound for the pleasure of playing X-Box and watching WWE Smackdown, it is commonplace to hear shrieks of laughter coming from the bedroom as my wife gets her weekly fix of Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Monica and Chandler. Ditto for the reruns that air daily.

The show has remained in the top ten TV shows each season for the last 10 years. It is definitely evident that God has blessed this show. However, in true Bible-thumping fashion, my reaction has usually been to stare at my wife as if she’s a stark, ravin' lunatic. In my macho, Christ-driven mind, I couldn’t understand why she thought that show was such a big deal . . . until one Sunday (4/25/04).

We ended up in a conversation about our own friends . . . and the friends we desire to have in our lives. As I was sharing my heart, the words of Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 popped in my head:

“There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless-
a miserable business!

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Suddenly, it all began to make sense: the appeal of the show, the familiar characters, and -- most importantly -- why God allowed the show to have a 10-year run. As we go through the toil and trouble of life, in addition to a relationship with God, we also need relationships with others. Simply put . . . we need friends.

We need a Ross in our lives. Ross is the friend who shows us that even if the world says “nice guys finish last,� it is still worth it to continue being the good guy, and, in the end, you will get your just reward.



We need a Rachel in our lives. Rachel is the friend who shows us that people really can change, grow, and mature to become great people.




We need a Joey in our lives. Joey is the friend who reminds us to keep our childlike wonder of the world in order to guard against becoming stuffy and cynical grown-ups.




We need a Phoebe in our lives. Phoebe reminds us that it is okay to be a spontaneous free spirit.





We need a Monica in our lives. Monica is the friend who helps us and reminds us to keep order and structure in our lives.




We need a Chandler in our lives. Chandler is the friend who can always put the comedic spin on the direst situation.

These six individuals gathered together to form their own fellowship, their own community, their own form of koinonia (Acts 4:32). And audiences around the country -- and the world -- have tuned in week-in and week-out to follow this fellowship. Those Nielsen ratings point to more than sharp writing and crisp direction. They point to the chemistry and connection that those six actors and actresses have between them while they’re performing each episode. The chemistry and connection that they share is one that we desire for our own lives. When we watch, we see ourselves. We see these fictitious “Friends� and we long in our hearts for real-life friends who will be there for us when the rain pours in our lives. Then we long to be there for them as well when they manage to get stuck in second gear, when they’re having a crappy day. . . or month . . . or year.

My wife had friends like these during her 4 years of study at Biola University. She proudly refers to this group of real-life friends as “The Freshman Six.� When the rain poured, when the gears of college life got stuck, they were there for each other. When I see the six of them together, I become envious. I never had a “Freshman Six.� To this day, I am still praying that God would indeed bless me with my own real-life "Friends." In spite of my ribbings and criticisms, I understand why she loves this show and why she will miss it.

Of course . . . it’s not about the quantity of our friends, but, rather the quality of our friends. As Proverbs 18: 24 states, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.� Guest stars have come and gone over the last 10 years, but the 6 have remained the same: one in heart and spirit . . . much like David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-4, 1 Samuel 20). Their brother/sister-hood shall live forever in the TV Hall of Fame. To these six TV “Friends,� who have become some of America's best Friends, I salute you. Thank you for being there for America!

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